EXTRA: Where's Dr. Evil, just when we need him the absolute most?

Bond was set Saturday for R. Kelly at $1 million on the criminal charges he faces for supposedly sexually abusing four people -- including three underage girls.

Which made me continually think that Judge John Lyke, Jr., was internally doing his best impression of actor Michael Myers as Dr. Evil in setting the amount of money Kelly must come up with if he wants to avoid having to wait out his criminal trial as an inmate of the Cook County Jail.

FOR THE RECORD, Kelly must come up with 10 percent of that amount -- or $100,000 -- if he wants to remain free. It was not immediately known if Kelly would be able to do so. But it should be noted that Kelly doesn't suffer from the predicament of many people in the county jail; who are there because they CANNOT afford bond.

Kelly may well have recording industry officials who, out of a desire to keep him working, can come up with the kind of cash needed to ensure he doesn't have to resort to the bologna and cheese sandwich diet often served up to inmates at 26th and California.

For the record, Kelly's next court date will be March 8. If he does manage to post bond, must surrender his passport (in case he has fantasies of fleeing for Jamaica) and stay away from people under 18.

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