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| There are slim pickings for Bar Mitzvah holiday cards |
Considering
that most people who are Jewish engage in this experience around age 13 when
their children are some future experience whose conception hasn’t even been
thought about yet, I wouldn’t be surprised at how unique this opportunity was.
IN
MY CASE, my father is 72. While he and my step-mother, Cathy, have been married
for 31 years, it was only about five years ago that my father converted to
Judaism.
With
my own niece being 13 and going through her Bat Mitzvah, the fact that my
father is doing the male equivalent was seen as a gesture of support for his
grand-daughter, and also a way of affirming his new identity.
So
on Saturday, both my father and niece are affirming that they’re now adults,
insofar as the church is concerned. They’re now fully capable of participating
in their synagogue’s activities. They can no longer claim to be too young to
comprehend what is taking place about them.
Which
is why I actually spent some time earlier this week reviewing the speech that
my father will present on Saturday to the synagogue, one in which he explains
how he gradually fell away from the Catholic faith in which he was born (and
which I was baptized as a mere baby and have never formally done anything to renounce).
BUT
ALSO HOW he feels there are similarities to what he was taught as a boy by his
grandfather so that the jump doesn’t feel like a massive earth-shattering
moment.
How
many people can claim to have copy-edited their father’s statement; touching up his grammar just a bit? One which I
felt contained a certain honesty about his thoughts while also stating where he
stands in life.
Not
that I expect him to recite a batch of Hebrew on Saturday. My understanding is
that the rabbi assigned him to English-speaking parts (and even a bit in
Spanish). While my niece, Meira, is the one who will take on the challenge of
showing she can read from the Torah and actually comprehend its meaning.
I
HAVE TO admit that shopping for a Bar Mitzvah gift for one’s father is an odd experience.
Even trying to pick out a card for the occasion was unique, although mostly
because I came to realize how many stores that overly stock every stupid
expression of holiday joy in greeting cards usually have, at most, a card or
two for the Jewish holidays.
One
store I stumbled into literally had only two options – one for Bar Mitzvah and
one for Bat Mitzvah, and of the types of cards that were specifically designed
to stuff cash into. Which strikes me as a tacky stereotype.
Although
my father, himself, jokes that he expects to clean up financially at his Bar
Mitzvah, perhaps regaining a share of all the cash he had to spend on me during
my lifetime. A part of me is inclined to give him a card with a note in it
saying I’ll try not to cost him so much money in the future.
But
on a more serious note, I have to admit to trying to think about the experience
from his perspective. I have to admit that the statement behind doing a Bar
Mitzvah at his age is quite a commitment – particularly since I saw the amount
of time he had to spend with a rabbi in preparation.
TIME
THAT I’M sure he would have preferred to spend elsewhere.
I’m
not sure I’d be capable of taking on such a commitment. In fact, I’m sure I
wouldn’t be capable of doing this. I have to admit to having some respect bordering on pride for
the man for being willing, and able, to do this.
Considering
that this also is a big day for my niece, I’m sure this will be one of those
days in the family history that will long be etched in our memories
It
definitely will be one I will remember for the rest of my life when I think of
my father. To whom I wonder if “L’chaim”
is the all-too-appropriate toast for this day.
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