Friday, April 12, 2013

Great Goat Conspiracy??!? How droll

Do you know what bothers me the most about the incident this week in which someone tried to send the severed head of a goat to the owner of the Chicago Cubs?

Somewhere, out there, someone thinks they were oh, so clever – instead of the nitwit that they truly are.

The new image of Tom Ricketts?
SERIOUSLY. SENDING A head to Tom Ricketts? Even though he never got it because it was delivered to Wrigley Field and security had enough sense to check the package first!

Somebody has been watching way too much of The Godfather. I sense somebody thinks that Ricketts himself was going to scream like a little baby – just like actor John Marley’s “Jack Woltz” character.

The only real question is what provoked this incident. Was it the fact that somebody thinks the Cubs are asking too much of Lake View neighborhood residents in trying to get approval for a proposed upgrade of Wrigley Field – one meant to make the century-old building usable for another few decades?

Or is it just the fact that a week into the season, the Cubs haven’t played all that well and have a losing record?

SENDING A SEVERED head might sound a bit drastic a reaction to the Cubs not playing so well. Then again, Cubs fans have never been the most rational group of people on Planet Earth.

Who’s to say why the head was sent, except for the fact that they had to feed off an image from The Godfather – which is among the three films I usually list as all-time favorites (M*A*S*H and All the President’s Men are the others).

The Cubs/goat origin
This use of such an image is so tacky, I might have to dump The Godfather from the list and come up with something else!

Insofar as the stadium renovation negotiations are concerned, I’ll be the first to admit I believe the Cubs often forget the degree to which Wrigley Field’s unique ambiance is tied into the character of the neighborhood.

DO SOMETHING THAT harms the feel of “Wrigleyville” (which I define rather strictly as the portion of Lake View within about two blocks of the ballpark, rather than the realtor definition that would use the label to describe the bulk of the North lakefront) and you’re doing something that will harm Wrigley Field.

Which, in the end, would hurt the Cubs – who certainly aren’t special for anything that happens on the playing field.

Heck, if the team is determined to push for so many changes in the essential character, then perhaps they should seriously consider the offers coming from suburban Rosemont.

Because there’s no way to build a stadium on the scale of what professional sports franchises play in anywhere in Chicago, unless you’re willing to accept a solely functional building like U.S. Cellular Field.

THIS IS ONE incident where I will be hoping that police can find someone who actually was involved with the goat head (which was delivered to the ballpark by an anonymous man who drove away in his truck before anyone tried checking the contents of the package).

The fact that the head had a tag on its ear from the Department of Agriculture may wind up giving some clue – particularly if it can help them figure out how the head was obtained to begin with.

Find a low-level accomplice, and it usually becomes possible for police to work their way up the chain to find the person who actually delivered the head – and the person who came up with the whole scheme.

Just in case it winds up involving more than one individual.

THE GREAT GOAT conspiracy! It could be a tale that Cubs fans tell for generations to come – just as they persist in replaying the tale about how “Billy Goat” Sianis got kicked out of Wrigley Field for the 1945 World Series because he tried to bring his goat into the ballpark to promote his Billy Goat Tavern.

When you lose that often, you have to find something amusing to talk about – even if it means pretending that the Cubs somehow did something wrong by not allowing livestock into the grandstand!


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