Monday, January 13, 2014

EXTRA: Clark, the cubbie bear -- something about ’14 Cubs will be cute

CLARK: Where's Addison?
The Chicago Cubs let it be known they're going to join the ranks of professional ball clubs that feel the need for a gigantic fuzzy creature roaming the stands to entertain the fans at those moments when the on-field game is just too dreadful to watch.

He’s going to be known as “Clark,” and it appears he will be a teddy bear-like concoction meant to generate an “aw, how cute?” reaction from mothers, who will take their kids over to check him out while at the ballpark.
Should 'Bull' and 'Pudge" have been mascots?

I CAN’T HELP but think, though, that if the mascot is going to be named “Clark,” he ought to be a part of a pair – with the other named “Addison.” It’s the logical play off the name of the location of Wrigley Field.
It’s not like it’s even unheard of for a ball club in our city to have dual mascots – remember “Ribbie” and “Roobarb,” who annoyed an entire generation of Chicago White Sox fans back in the 1980s.

It might be worth the time for whoever gets the job of being “Clark” to meet with the one-time “Ribbie” and “Roobarb” to learn about the natural attraction of people to want to take a punch at whatever big, fuzzy thing is blocking their view of the ballgame.
From Sesame, to 35th, streets?

There used to be Sox fans who thought it was cute to do such a thing. Of course, it didn’t help matters any that nobody could figure out what Ribbie and Roobarb were supposed to be, or that Ribbie (I think, I could never tell them apart) looked like a rip-off of Snuffleupagus from Sesame Street.

ALTHOUGH I’M SURE Cubs fans will think they’re too refined to beat him up. They’ll probably take to pouring their warm, stale beers on the baby bear. That costume is going to be downright rank by season's end.

All I can think is that it will be a downright miserable job to have to portray “Clark” for 81 games at Wrigley Field – along with whatever other promotional stunts the Cubs schedule. The mascot may well be the highlight of the 2014 season.
Is Southpaw throwing w/ right arm?

One final note – a message for “Clark.” Turn your cap around and wear it like a ballplayer!!!!!

For that reason alone, “Southpaw” (the current incarnation of a mascot for the White Sox) wins points over you. Although Ribbie and Roobarb top you both for their ability to cope with the Comiskey crowd of old.


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