EXTRA: Clark, the cubbie bear -- something about ’14 Cubs will be cute

CLARK: Where's Addison?

The Chicago Cubs let it be known they're going to join the ranks of professional ball clubs that feel the need for a gigantic fuzzy creature roaming the stands to entertain the fans at those moments when the on-field game is just too dreadful to watch.

He’s going to be known as “Clark,” and it appears he will be a teddy bear-like concoction meant to generate an “aw, how cute?” reaction from mothers, who will take their kids over to check him out while at the ballpark.

Should 'Bull' and 'Pudge" have been mascots?

I CAN’T HELP but think, though, that if the mascot is going to be named “Clark,” he ought to be a part of a pair – with the other named “Addison.” It’s the logical play off the name of the location of Wrigley Field.
 

It’s not like it’s even unheard of for a ball club in our city to have dual mascots – remember “Ribbie” and “Roobarb,” who annoyed an entire generation of Chicago White Sox fans back in the 1980s.

It might be worth the time for whoever gets the job of being “Clark” to meet with the one-time “Ribbie” and “Roobarb” to learn about the natural attraction of people to want to take a punch at whatever big, fuzzy thing is blocking their view of the ballgame.

From Sesame, to 35th, streets?

There used to be Sox fans who thought it was cute to do such a thing. Of course, it didn’t help matters any that nobody could figure out what Ribbie and Roobarb were supposed to be, or that Ribbie (I think, I could never tell them apart) looked like a rip-off of Snuffleupagus from Sesame Street.

ALTHOUGH I’M SURE Cubs fans will think they’re too refined to beat him up. They’ll probably take to pouring their warm, stale beers on the baby bear. That costume is going to be downright rank by season's end.

All I can think is that it will be a downright miserable job to have to portray “Clark” for 81 games at Wrigley Field – along with whatever other promotional stunts the Cubs schedule. The mascot may well be the highlight of the 2014 season.

Is Southpaw throwing w/ right arm?

One final note – a message for “Clark.” Turn your cap around and wear it like a ballplayer!!!!!

For that reason alone, “Southpaw” (the current incarnation of a mascot for the White Sox) wins points over you. Although Ribbie and Roobarb top you both for their ability to cope with the Comiskey crowd of old.

  -30-

City split caused by Chicago baseball gains national attention this holiday

The Chicago Bears are now officially a disaster, and the hopes of many a local sports fan is banked on the idea that the Chicago Bulls might be worth something.

Yet to the nation at-large, the attention seems to be going to the split between our city’s professional baseball clubs that has become a part of the very character of Chicago.

ALL BECAUSE OF a twisted, little video snippet less than two minutes long that was shot Sunday morning when children all across the country were ripping open Christmas presents.

One mother made a point of putting her daughter’s shock, awe and disgust upon receiving a present of a pillow designed to look like a bear cub in Chicago Cubs uniform.

For that girl, it seems, is a fan of the Chicago White Sox. She reacted like the six-year-old that she is in expressing the fact that this was a horrible present (while we can see her slightly-older brother off to the side dancing around in joy, and mocking the fact that she wanted a White Sox pillow).

In the end, the mother admits the pillow is a present for her brother, and that her REAL present is in another package – which turns out to be a White Sox mascot pillow.

THE GIRL WAS pleased. All was right with the world. Even with the Bears as awful as they are, and nobody really sure if the Bulls are for real.

This video has been copied over onto many different sites on the Internet, and I saw it over and over Wednesday on CNN Headline News. I even got to hear sports anchor Carlos Diaz take a “dig” at the White Sox by mocking team mascot Southpaw.

For in his view, the Cubs’ pillow depicts a cutesy bear cub. Whereas what exactly is Southpaw – other than a green, fuzzy blob wearing the black and white (with silver trim) of the White Sox?

He may have a point. There are many White Sox fans who will bash Southpaw’s existence on the grounds that they don’t know what he’s supposed to be.

ALTHOUGH I COULDN’T help but notice in the video that is drawing so many laughs and guffaws these days that the White Sox pillow’s depiction of Southpaw makes him bear a strong resemblance to Oscar the Grouch. (Does that make the Cookie Monster a potential Cubs fan?)

Which if a resemblance to a Sesame Street character were true would give Southpaw the most distinct appearance of any major league mascot (a distinction that probably goes to Friar – the bald-headed and robed Catholic padre who dances at San Diego Padres games).

But I honestly can’t say that anything about the girl’s reaction shocked me. It only means that the baseball “bug” has infected a younger generation. It may well be the reason why professional baseball lives on generation after generation – despite the best efforts of baseball people to take down the game with their greed.

There have been some jokes floating around the Internet about the state Department of Children and Family Services being called in on account of a parent allowing their children to be split between White Sox fandom and Cubs backing.

ALTHOUGH I PERSONALLY found it to be more cruel to try such a prank on the girl – making her think that she was getting one of those cutesy-poo teddy bears for a holiday present.

Then again, I’m sure this will be the hilarious home movie that the family will show year after year – and that the girl will have to live down for as long as it comes up on the Internet.

But the idea that a Chicago baseball fan of any age would react so negatively to a “gift” depicting an image of the “other” ball club? It’s not the least bit surprising. And I would expect a Cubs fan (in all their misguided sentiment) to react just the same.

For I know some White Sox fans who, upon seeing the girl being given a Cubs pillow, were probably chanting for her to feed it to that dog that was sniffing around her while opening the “present.”

  -30-

White Sox mascot to help represent Illinois in D.C. inaugural parade

Tourists to the District of Columbia and residents of the capital city are going to get a garish sight when they happen to catch a glimpse of the float included in the inaugural parade that is meant to represent Barack Obama’s home state of Illinois.

To be pulled by a John Deere-brand tractor (the company is based in Moline, Ill.), the float will have a display meant to represent what the Land of Lincoln is all about.

BUT INSTEAD OF having some young girl in a tiara and sash that declares her to be Miss Illinois something-or-other waving her hand, one of the things meant to represent us will be a fuzzy green blob (that’s the best way I can think to describe it) waving its left paw to the masses gathered along Pennsylvania Avenue.

I can’t help but wonder what all those people who don’t have a direct tie to the South Side will think of the sight.

Will some think that we’ve gone goofy in Illinois and/or Chicago? Perhaps they’ll think some creature from the California float snuck onto the Illinois float to try to take over, or that Rod Blagojevich wanted to be a part of the day’s festivities, but had to put on a silly costume in order to sneak in because nobody would let him in as himself?

Because what those people will really be seeing, is Southpaw.

FOR THOSE OF you who have no clue who Southpaw is, the character is the official mascot of the Chicago White Sox baseball team. The guy who wears the costume at White Sox games and at public appearances on behalf of the team is now in the District of Columbia, waiting for his participation in the inaugural parade.

The White Sox (whom Obama has often said are his rooting choice for a professional baseball team) approved inclusion of their mascot on the Illinois float – probably with delusions that it would result in lots of national publicity for the ball club spinning about in their collective head.

Now there are a couple of professional sports franchises who have costumed mascot characters that are a significant part of the teams’ public character. Just about any fan of professional sports in this country knows what the Philly Phanatic is.

In fact, there’s always “The Famous Chicken,” who has become bigger than his original ball club, the San Diego Padres (who now employ a giant costumed missionary named “Friar” to dance around in between innings).

THEN, THERE ARE teams like the White Sox with “Southpaw,” a character created a couple of years ago out of hope that he could help enhance the child-appeal of the ballpark atmosphere at U.S. Cellular Field. Nobody outside of the hardcore fandom has a clue what it is supposed to be.

I don’t know how successful Southpaw has been in trying to gain the love and respect of White Sox fans, or of Chicagoans in general. There are many in our city who don’t have a clue as to his existence. He certainly isn’t beloved.

For every kid who gets a kick out of a giant ball of green fuzz shaking their hand in between innings, there are several (slightly inebriated) adults who find his presence irritating – usually because they think they have to have an attitude that if something didn’t exist in the ball park when they were kids, it must be bad.

In short, Southpaw certainly isn’t a figure that I think of as universally representing our city or state.

I CAN’T HELP but wonder why Jerry Reinsdorf didn’t send the mascot of his other professional sports team in this city – Benny the Bull of the Chicago Bulls would likely have had greater recognition upon being seen by the masses from around the nation. It would also seem to work better, since Obama himself has indicated that while he likes watching the White Sox, basketball seems to be his preferred sport.

So what will the nation think of Southpaw when he gets his national introduction on Tuesday? Will they think he’s cute? Or will they wonder what “Oscar the Grouch” is doing wearing a White Sox uniform?

There is one plus. At least the White Sox no longer have their dueling mascots from the 1980s.

Just think of how ridiculous people would think Illinois is if they were to see the sight of Ribbie and Roobarb engaging in slapstick while roaring down Pennsylvania Avenue on their motorbikes?

-30-

EDITOR’S NOTES: There will be moments of sophistication and high culture as part of the Inauguration festivities on Tuesday. Then, there will also be moments such as those (http://chicago.whitesox.mlb.com/news/article.jsp?ymd=20090115&content_id=3745736&vkey=news_cws&fext=.jsp&c_id=cws) involving Southpaw.

Jesse White will go from being the guy whose bureaucratic action stalled Roland Burris (http://www.sun-sentinel.com/news/politics/elections/obama_inauguration/chi-obama-parade-09-dec09,0,2963946.story) from becoming senator for one week to being the namesake of the tumbling team that also will represent Illinois in the parade.

Moline-based John Deere will have dealerships in Pennsylvania and Maryland provide the tractors that will pull floats (http://www.publicopiniononline.com/ci_11482546) in the inaugural parade.

This (http://chicago.whitesox.mlb.com/cws/community/southpaw.jsp) is Southpaw.