EXTRA: Happy 182nd!

Once again, Chicago celebrates the anniversary of its incorporation.

It literally has been 182 years since the date that officials officially declared Chicago to be a full-fledged city. One that the state's big-wigs in Southern Illinois (the kind of people who thought Cairo would be a significant city at 20,000 people, instead of shrinking to its current level of barely 2,000) never thought would amount to much. After all, it's so far from the Mississippi River and from what was supposed to be the dominant regional city -- St. Louis.

BUT WE GREW, oh so much. Recovered from the Great Fire of 1871 to the point there was once a time when some people thought Chicago would become the Number One city in the nation, sprouting out even larger than New York.

But that never happened, and in fact we now face a situation where we'll probably shrink to even smaller than Houston some time in the next decade. By the time we reach our city Bicentennial, the Second City will be Number Four in size.

But not in spirit. For I don't care what anyone else says; a part of me will always regard Chicago as the greatest place to live on Planet Earth. And as for anybody who'd leave Chicago for petty partisan political reasons? Well, they deserve to live in a place like Indianapolis (and I don't mean the boulevard)!

So here's some video snippets about our wonderful city; from the Burnham Plan that set our city's image to the river/great lake combination that are the reason our city is where it is, down to a National Geographic take on our city. And even a bit of phony Chicago history that far too many people take as serious scholarship. Enjoy!

  -30-

Has Mother Nature developed a multi-color hue for Chicago's namesake river

There’s one thing that anybody who’s native to Chicago knows for sure – our namesake river ain’t blue in color.

The natural muddy green of Chicago River. Photos by Gregory Tejeda

You might be able to look out to the east from downtown high rises and see a Lake Michigan that is a luscious blue in color and appears to extend off so far into the distance that you might mistake it for an ocean, rather than just a lake – albeit one of the Great Lakes that make the Midwestern U.S. so unique.

BUT EVERYBODY WHO’S ever spent time here knows the Chicago River, which the lake flows into so as to avoid having our sewage and waste wind up in our drinking water supply, knows our river water is different.

It has taken on a green hue. In fact, it has taken on different shades of green, and not just because of St. Patrick’s Day.

For on that March day, city officials go out of their way to add dyes to the river water (or at least the portion of the river that separates Downtown from the Near North Side) so that it becomes a bright Kelly green.

As opposed to the sickly, dingy green with a touch of brown to it that is the usual color of our namesake river.

Still some industry in downtown portions of Chicago River

IT’S ACTUALLY ONE of the local gags, the quality of our river. So tainted with sludge that it might almost be possible to walk across the water, even if you don’t happen to be Jesus Christ.

Or that one accidental tumble off a downtown bridge into the water and the biggest threat may not be that you’d drown, but that you’d become poisoned just by coming into contact with the water.

By comparison, salt piles along Chicago's 'other' river -- the Calumet

My own gag acknowledges the fact that the river water quality actually has improved in recent years – to where our river is no longer toxic, but is now merely polluted.

Despite all of these noxious comments (about as tainted as the river itself), I have to say I always considered the Chicago River – particularly the part of it that goes through downtown from Lake Michigan to the split between the south and north branches – to be a significant part of our city’s personality.

SO WHAT SHOULD we think about the fact our city’s river is now taking on distinct shades? Is it a split personality? A physical manifestation of Chicago’s character?

For what it’s worth, WLS-TV on Monday reported that since Friday and through the weekend, the river has taken on distinct shades of green. The south branch being the usual muddy green color that we usually associate with the river while the north branch has a brighter shade almost like that fake green trotted out every St. Patrick’s Day.

Is this Mother Nature’s way of saying we ought to celebrate St. Patty’s Day every day in Chicago?

Is the muddy green color appropriate as river passes Trump tower?

The Metropolitan Water Reclamation District and the Chicago Department of Water Management both told the television station that this multi-shade of green is actually natural, and not something we need to concern ourselves with. Not yet, anyway.

RECENT STORMS AND seasonal vegetation changes allegedly are responsible for the varying hues. Although further tests are supposedly still being taken to see if there’s going to be any lasting effect to Chicago River water.

Personally, I find this quirky – almost something to laugh about. Considering that Chicagoans of any sense know better than to drink directly from the river, and that we know it is still decades far in the future that one-time Mayor Richard J. Daley’s decades-old dream of people being able to fish in the Chicago River will become reality.

So as for our river, we’ll have to adapt to multi-shades of green, and let’s hope it doesn’t turn fiery red.

The Cleveland Indians baseball team may be closer to a World Series appearance than our Chicago White Sox, but we’re more than willing to let Cleveland and its Cuyahoga River (which caught fire due to the waste in the water back in 1969) be unique.

  -30-

Will Chgo mystery bid entice Amazon?

It was with much fanfare, combined with secrecy, that Chicago city officials this week officially submitted their bid to Amazon.com, offering up a proposal by which the company would build its second corporate headquarters somewhere in the Second City.

What kind of bid concocted at City Hall ...

I emphasize “somewhere,” because city officials weren’t eager to share any details of what it is they’re offering to the Internet retail giant to entice them to want to come here, rather than to Atlanta, St. Louis or any other city that plans to get involved in the bidding process.

OF COURSE, CITY officials were eager to make grandiose statements about how Chicago has the “talent, transportation and technology” to be a worthy site for the new corporate offices that Amazon wants to build to supplement their existing Seattle-based facility.

But for anyone expecting a definitive answer as to whether Chicago is offering up the old Post Office downtown, the former Michael Reese Hospital site on the South Side or a site somewhere along the north branch of the Chicago River, forget it.

That’s a secret. City officials fear that somehow letting it be known publicly what they’re offering up will somehow hurt the city. Almost as though they think some other city will magically be able to duplicate what Chicago offers up as part of their own bid.

Which is highly unlikely, to tell the truth.

PERSONALLY, I WONDER about the possible re-use of the hospital or post office facilities. It would be nice to see such one-time prominent locations in Chicago be put to use – recycled, of sorts, in ways that will continue to keep them relevant for years to come.

Somehow, I suspect that Amazon types will want to think new and shiny, and if they’re contemplating Chicago at all would most likely be swayed by the artistic architectural drawings that could be created for any new site along the river.

... would attract Amazon.com ...

I suspect they’ll be scared away from thinking in the least about Chicago’s South Side – and probably would be equally terrified of those people who talk up the idea of Gary, Ind., as an Amazon site that would be very close to Chicago without actually having to endure the so-called drawbacks of city living.

Although I also think people who want to criticize urban life most likely are missing the whole point of why Amazon wants to build a new facility in the first place.

I MUST CONFESS to finding some of the speculation from other cities intriguing. Such as the Georgia municipality near Atlanta that is willing to approve the de-annexation of more than 300 acres of land for an Amazon site.

That would literally allow for creation of a new community that could be called Amazon, Ga. – they could be their very own city and govern themselves. They wouldn’t have to listen to any government officials. They could become, in a sense, the ultimate corporate town.

Would Amazon.com truly like to be the masters of their own domain, so to speak? Or is that just an old “Seinfeld” gag that the younger-minded of Amazon.com executives (it is a 25-year-old gag) wouldn’t appreciate?

Or could it be that the last thing Amazon.com officials would want to do is have to manage their own local government? Having to worry about one’s own trash pickup or street maintenance? Easier to have someone else worry about such tasks while they focus on the business of making goods available for sale at competitive prices.

BECAUSE OF THE city secrecy, I can’t even begin to speculate as to how Chicago’s bid competes with the inevitable collection of tax breaks that municipalities will offer up – seeing how much they can sacrifice short-term to Amazon.com in hopes that the company’s financial benefits will help them long-term.

... to want to come to the land of the Picasso?

That 50,000-jobs total is going to be tossed out repeatedly in coming years, even though the reality is that it would take many years for the number of local employees working at a new Amazon.com facility to equal the tally.

Maybe we’ll learn more once the application process is complete by Thursday – although just when Amazon.com officials plan to make their decision remains to be seen.

Ultimately, Chicago and the other cities interested in becoming the home address for the Amazon.com facility are at the corporation’s whim, and they’ll tell us what they’re going to do whenever they feel like it – not exactly a comfortable spot for Chicago to occupy.

  -30-

What’s going to kill Amazon.com chances? We can’t make up our minds

The more I think about it, the more I’m starting to believe that Amazon.com is likely to pick some place other than Chicago to be the site of the new second headquarters they want to build somewhere in the United States.

Could the Amazon.com logo become a part ...

As much as I think the Seattle-based Amazon types would be total lunkheads if they can’t appreciate how wonderful Chicago would be for their corporate needs, I also think we’ll have no one to blame but ourselves for the eventual failure.

FOR IT SEEMS that our political people who ultimately are going to have to put together some sort of package of incentives to entice Amazon.com types to come here are going to get undone by their own indecisiveness.

For it seems we can’t even agree on where we would want to have such a headquarters built – and the various interests who are each touting individual sites seem to think that “compromise” is defined as “Everybody else ought to shut up and do what we think is right!”

Within Chicago alone, there are supposedly six locations under consideration, and I’ve also heard from assorted interest groups who can easily tout locations that aren’t on the unofficial list of a half-dozen prospective sites.

I know that in my own home part of Chicago (the 10^th Ward, or southeast corner of the city), there are people who are getting all worked up that they think the knuckleheads at City Hall aren’t united by trying to entice Amazon.com with the site of the old U.S. Steel South Works plant along Lake Michigan.

THAT’S THE SITE where many developers have talked about trying to develop upscale neighborhoods taking advantage of the lake’s proximity. Although I suspect many of those city officials trying to put together a Chicago proposal want a location more potentially upscale than something at 79^th Street and the lakefront.

... of Chicago cityscape like Walgreen's?

Their idea of a waterfront site for Amazon.com usually talks about the Chicago River, specifically the north branch. Where there are some architectural drawings in existence that show an artistically-spectacular structure that could be erected for Amazon.com.

Or others talk about turning the Old Post Office building in the South Loop into a headquarters – citing how it is historically significant, would be a nice re-use and also would be within walking distance of other prominent downtown Chicago structures and businesses.

Some even speculate about a suburban site, such as the Oak Brook location where McDonald's used to have its 'Hamburger U' where it trained franchise managers. We can't even get our own thoughts together united behind a proposal. Which makes me wonder if the Amazon.com types will just write us off altogether.

YET IT’S NOT just the city trying to get itself involved in the Amazon.com battle.

Gov. Bruce Rauner admits Illinois will be working with St. Louis officials who are trying to entice Amazon.com to come to their city. Rauner figures that it would benefit the Illinois residents of Madison and St. Clair counties (which are this state’s portion of the St. Louis metropolitan area) if the plant were to be located there.

Could Kankakee or Gary, Ind., ...

Yet that may not be the only Illinois alternate interest.

The Capitol Fax newsletter reported this week that Kankakee County officials are trying to persuade Rauner to include their area in any state proposal to try to get Amazon.com to come to Illinois.

A KANKAKEE-AREA based facility would have proximity to the far south end of the Chicago area, while also being not that far from the University of Illinois campus in Urbana.

Then, there’s also the potential political battle evolving just over the state line in Indiana, where Lake County business officials are trying to put together a proposal to try to entice Amazon.com to locate in the Hoosier state, while Gary, Ind., city officials are putting together their own proposal – one that they advertised earlier this week in the New York Times.

... bring Amazon.com into proximity of Chicago?

Both of those groups are claiming their proximity to Chicago means Amazon.com could get the Chicago-area labor without having to actually locate in Chicago.

That’s a lot of confusion, and there’s always the chance of more groups trying to tout themselves between now and Oct. 25 – the date that Amazon.com supposedly wants to have proposals submitted by. Enough confusion that the Seattle types could easily wind up deciding that the New York Times was right in recommending Denver as the best site.

  -30-

Has it really been a quarter century since the Great Chicago Flood of ’92?

Twice in my life I have seen the streets of downtown Chicago completely deserted. Keep in mind I used to work an overnight shift for the now-defunct City News Bureau, and the Loop doesn’t die out completely even at 4 a.m.

Chicago River wasn't so orderly a quarter century ago Thursday. Photograph by Gregory Tejeda

But there was Sept. 11, 2001 when officials had the downtown area evacuated just in case someone was planning something similar for Chicago to what happened that day in Manhattan and at the Pentagon in the Virginia suburbs of D.C.

THEN, THERE WAS the date that occurred 25 years ago Thursday. The date of the Great Chicago Flood. When the basements of downtown Chicago buildings overflowed with water, engineers supposedly contemplated using mattresses to try to plug the hole and a certain generation will not forget the screwiness of that date.

Which in my mind is odd because the “flood” wasn’t really a flood. It was a leak.

As in the Chicago River sprung a leak and water flowed out and into the century-old tunnels that exist beneath the streets of downtown Chicago. When the water filled up those tunnels, the level had to rise to the various sub-basements that exist beneath downtown buildings.

Including the then-Marshal Field’s department store, where we got to hear the famed radio reports about the fish swimming in the basement at Fields.

WE LATER LEARNED that the leak was caused when workers with the Great Lakes Dredge & Dock Co. that was replacing rotting wooden poles in the river installed a new poll just a little bit off – and wound up puncturing a hole into the tunnel.

This occurred in September of 1991. But it wasn’t until 25 years ago today that the water level became so ridiculously high that we at street level could no longer ignore it.

Personally, I remember working that day from my post at the pressroom of the then-State of Illinois Center. Working the telephones, I was accumulating information that went into the various stories the City News Bureau reported that day. I was vaguely aware that some people were leaving the Loop.

But the level of the evacuation didn’t become apparent until my shift that day was complete and a fresh crew of reporter-types were taking over for the night.

DOWNTOWN CHICAGO CAN be an eerie place when it is deserted and the only activity taking place is the changing of traffic signals from red to green and back again – only it doesn’t matter because there’s no traffic.

No people either.

It was reminiscent of a cheesy film I once saw called “Night of the Comet” in which the passing of a comet somehow unleashes a force that reduces much of humanity to piles of dust – and the few survivors tried to make sense of their lives in the remains of Los Angeles.

It almost felt like a similar force had been unleashed in Chicago – and the city was somehow all mine to do with as I pleased!

THERE LITERALLY WAS no one else around even though there still was daylight in the sky. Not even a newsboy crying out about the “Extra” edition newspapers he had, but couldn’t find anybody to buy (which I did see on Sept. 11, 2001).

Much of downtown Chicago’s life returned the next day, although there were the inconveniences as some places had their plumbing or water service turned off while officials tried to figure out the long-term solution to the problem. I also recall my own place of employment being closed for the day a couple of days later – and we were relocated to the Sun-Times Building. Which since has been obliterated by that giant tacky tower paying homage to His Excellency, Donald the First!

But the Great Chicago Flood where the river didn’t overflow. In fact, where else but in the Second City could a river spring a leak?

It’s all a part of what gives our fair city its unique character. That, and the hot dogs (Only Mustard Ever!!!)

  -30-

Who knew Flying Wallendas were still around? They’ll be in Chicago soon

Perhaps it’s because I’m not 9 years old any more,

 

But the word this week that a member of the Flying Wallenda family (of generations of circus fame) will walk across a high-wire erected over the Chicago River just doesn’t raise me to the levels of amazement that some would expect.

 

IT SEEMS THE Discovery Channel is planning a live broadcast for Nov. 2, with that high-wire erected from one of the buildings of the Marina Towers (the corn cobs just north of the river) across the river to the Leo Burnett Building (which was where some of the real-life ‘Mad Men’ worked back in the day).

 

To make the event seem more daring, we’re told that it will be an uphill walk, and not during any ideal weather conditions. It will be the heart of autumn by then. It will be windy. It will be chilly.

 

Nik Wallenda – who is seventh generation performer from the Wallenda family – could easily have something go drastically wrong, which could result in him plunging into the Chicago River.

 

Even if he survived the fall’s impact, exposure to the contamination in that river alone would be enough to kill him.

 

PROMOTERS ARE MAKING a point of saying there won’t be any safety nets or harnesses to protect him if he should slip. The Discovery Channel, I’m sure, is counting on getting significant exposure. Particularly since officials say the program will be broadcast in 220 countries around the globe.

 

Great. The whole wide world will know of the nonsense taking place in Chicago.

 

I don’t doubt that Nik Wallenda is putting himself at some physical risk by undertaking such a stunt. I’m also sure he has the training (whatever that may be) to attempt such a stunt and have hopes of completing it still alive.

 

But the idea of walking a wire across the river at significant height doesn’t move me.

 

IN FACT, IT just seems so retro. My initial reaction to learning of the stunt was that it seemed like something from the past.

 

As though something a daredevil-type would have tried back in 1914, to the amazement of the crowds below – many of whom would have been anxious to see him fall and plunge to his demise, while thinking to him (or her)self. “Fool got what he deserved.”

 

Maybe I’m just too old – a year shy of 50 – to appreciate the “thrill” of the moment.

 

It certainly seems to fall far short of the stunt I remember from childhood – back in 1974 when motorcycle stuntman Evel Knievel tried to jump the Snake River Canyon in Idaho.

 

KNIEVEL, WHO ATTEMPTED 75 ramp-to-ramp jumps and suffered 433 bone fractures during his career as a stunt-man, failed in that stunt – even though he was flying in a steam-powered rocket. I still remember the over-hype of that particular moment.

 

It seemed so incredible back then. Then again, it was my generation that also got all worked up when “Fonzie” jumped his motorcycle over all those garbage cans (only to crash into the Arnolds’ chicken stand). Watching those “Happy Days” re-runs comes across these days as more insipid than these daredevil stunts.

 

Personally, I’ll wish this Wallenda all the success in his stunt, but mostly because I don’t want my home city to become known as being the site where Nik met his demise.

 

We already have too many knuckleheads who came to their end in our fair city; all in an attempt to amuse the locals on a slow Sunday. It’s just a good thing the Chicago Bears have that particular weekend off, because otherwise nobody would care about the Wallenda stunt.

 

  -30-

We're lucky that Lake Michigan water isn’t all “Erie” like that in Toledo

I experienced a sense of relief Monday morning when I learned that local officials once again proclaimed their water supply safe for drinking.


Let’s face it. The home of the Mudhens baseball team (who this season may well be better than either of our allegedly “Major League” franchises) experienced a problem this weekend that could just as easily occur in Chicago.

BOTH CITIES RELY on the Great Lakes for their fresh water drinking supply. We may make jokes about Lake Erie. But it really isn’t all that different from Lake Michigan from which we take.

The algae bloom that developed near a structure used by Toledo to draw water from Lake Erie to plants where it is treated before being put into the system where it eventually comes out of the faucets in peoples’ residences is something that could happen here.

It could easily be us someday experiencing a stretch of time when we’re alerted to NOT drink the water or cook with it, or even try to bathe in it if it turns out we’re particularly sensitive physically.

If Mayor Rahm Emanuel has any sense, he’ll do whatever it takes to reduce the odds that any such incident were ever to occur on the southwestern shores of Lake Michigan.

WE CLAIM MICHAEL Bilandic got dumped as mayor because his city let a heavy winter storm get out of control. Just envision how we’d demonize a mayor who let the lake get tainted – even for a few days.

That might well be the only circumstances under which Robert Shaw could actually win the mayoral election cycle coming up next year.

The fact is that the algae bloom that caused the problem in Toledo is a part of nature – or at least nature interacting with the human species.

A notice issued by Toledo city officials during the weekend said such bloom is caused by runoff from over-fertilized farm fields, livestock pens or malfunctioning septic systems.

WE COULD EASILY have similar circumstances occur in Chicago if we’re not careful.

In fact, there are times I think it is miraculous that the water from the Chicago River – which at one time was toxic but is now merely polluted – doesn’t routinely cause problems for the Lake Michigan water supply that the city relies on both in terms of a drinking supply and a source of revenue for the hundreds of suburbs it sells water access to.

It often is called one of the engineering marvels of modern-day society that the flow of the Chicago River was reversed so that the pollution flows downstate across Illinois and ultimately to the Mississippi River.

It is a good part of the reason why I am skeptical of those people who fear the concept of Asian Carp getting into Lake Michigan, who try to blame the river’s reversal as some sort of unnatural act that caused the potential problem, and want it reversed back to the way Mother Nature had it before there was a “Chicago” on the shores of Lake Michigan.

THEY’D HAVE A heck of a lot of contaminates wind up in our city’s drinking water supply. To such a degree that we’d be an even bigger news story than what occurred in Toledo this weekend – and which seems to have come to an end Monday morning.

The people of Toledo will soon be back to turning on their faucet if they want a drink of water. While we ought to hope we never experience such a state of affairs.

Because the levels needed to contaminate water aren’t that large – CNN reported Monday morning that one drop would be sufficient to taint a swimming pool. The part of Lake Michigan that Chicago draws water from may be much larger, but could still be tainted.

Just think how unpleasant a place Chicago would become if we had to go for a stretch of time without showering? Particularly in the midst of summer? Peee-yoooo!

  -30-

T-R-U-M-P – all a matter of perspective

The Trump-less way many would prefer to think of Chicago skyline

I had to be at the Daley Center courthouse last week for another hearing in an ongoing lawsuit I’m writing about these days, and one of the things I like about trips there is when I can cover something in one of the top floors of the 30-plus story building.

You can get some up-close and personal views of the Chicago skyline – such as being able to look DOWN on the First United Methodist Church building located across the street.

Trump contribution to Chicago

BUT BY CHANCE in a bit of down time during a court hearing, I happened to catch a glimpse out of a window facing to the north of what has become an architectural controversy (or travesty, depending on one’s opinion).

The Trump Tower right on the Chicago River that is one of the city’s tallest buildings (albeit not as big as the Willis Tower that so many of us still call Sears).

And from my perspective on the 25^th floor, I could look down on the building and see the letters that are getting so many people riled up.

T-R-U-M-P. As in The Donald wants to ensure that EVERYBODY knows this is his building in Chicago. One with a riverfront view as such that everybody along Wacker Drive can see it – as well as anybody coming in from Lake Michigan into the city on the river.

 

Looking down from Daley Center

THE BUILDING IS just like the man himself – all about garishness being mistaken for class. Just like way too many rap and country/western music stars!

Yet I have to admit that from my Daley Center view, the lettering that gets so many people all worked up seemed to have a proper perspective.

It is, after all, one of the city’s tallest buildings (nearly 1,400 feet tall). So the idea of letters that are 20 feet tall is a matter of perspective.

The “TRUMP” sign wasn’t any more ostentatious than the letters atop the building advertising that Kemper Corp. insurance is located at 1 E. Wacker Dr. I noticed their sign as well.

 

Palmolive Building view before iconic sign

I’LL BE THE first to admit that the New York-based real estate developer is way too overbearing for us to have to put up with. Particularly since he comes across as though he believes the structures he is erecting are permanent reminders of his existence on this planet.

Does Trump believe his tower in Chicago is his reminder to the Midwestern U.S. that he was here? That the structure will still be standing some 3,000 years from now?

As though it makes him immortal?

Heck, I’m old enough to remember when the Palmolive Building bore the name of PLAYBOY, and had that “Bunny Beacon” atop the structure that could be seen from several hundred miles away.

NOW, WHO REMEMBERS that the magazine’s sign was ever there. Or even that Hugh Hefner’s attempt at a sophisticated girlie magazine was ever a Chicago-based company?

A large part of the reason I can’t get too worked up at the sight of T-R-U-M-P on the Chicago River is that I know full well the day will come when the sign will be no more.

Do I think Mayor Rahm Emanuel is letting himself get way too worked up with his governmental efforts to try to force the sign’s removal? Of course. If anything, he’s merely feeding into Trump’s ego by making him think he’s all the more important on the Chicago scene.

 

A real iconic sign

Emanuel ought to let this fight go. He’d find out just how quickly Chicagoans would learn to ignore this bit of garishness. Heck, we manage to ignore a lot of tacky (the remodeled Soldier Field, for example) items that exist in our city.

IN THE END, Trump will get his comeuppance when his attempt at a memorable structure winds up getting lost in the skyline shuffle.

And a century from now, nobody will be remembering the T-R-U-M-P lettering as anywhere near iconic as the Magikist lips!

  -30-

Day the river turns greener than usual

The holiday proper may be Monday, but Saturday's the day that the explorer who allegedly "discovered" America becomes Christopher O'Columbus for a day.

On Friday, it was the fountain outside Daley Center that was dyed green. On Saturday, it will be entirety of the Chicago River. Come Sunday, it will be the garbage from the parade that has a green residue. Photograph by Gregory Tejeda

It's the St. Patrick's Day parade, which in Chicago used to be an overbloated, pompous display of political might from the politicos of Irish ethnic origins.

IT'S NOT WHAT it used to be, though. I recall the old days of parades down Dearborn Street (and perhaps we ought to be fortunate that one of them wound up being integrated into the 1994 film "The Fugitive" so we can get a glimpse of what they used to be.

Now, those parades travel down about a four-block stretch of Columbus Drive. Which allows for the city skyline to be in the background. But which also gives them a generic parade feel.

Who can tell the difference between the Irish parade or the Mexican Independence Day event or any other group that has their annual parade along the same strip?

Gov. Pat Quinn will be on hand for the Saturday parade. But what will it say when an authentic Irish-American pol will likely be overshadowed by a Jewish guy?

RAHM EMANUEL IS, after all, Da Mayor. Quinn is just a political schnook who has to go to Springfield to be considered important (and even there doesn't get a whole lot of respect).

If anything, it is the events such as the South Side Irish parade out in the Beverly neighborhood that takes on more character, or the events that will be held in various suburban communities.

One of those in Elmhurst took place a week ago, and it resulted in a man having spent the past week in the DuPage County Jail, where charges are pending against him for comments he posted on a website hinting he might set off explosives during the event.

Definitely not someone in the holiday spirit.

PERSONALLY, I DON'T get all that excited about St. Patrick's Day. Although it is encouraging to see that Cinco de Mayo celebrations in Chicago are not the only ethnic-inspired events that result in way too much alcoholic consumption. (Just for what it's worth, the Census Bureau says 34.1 million U.S. residents claim Irish ethnic background, compared to 53.03 million who are Latino).

But it does say something about the ethnic character of Chicago that the people still try to do something to maintain an awareness of who they are and where they came from.

Which is something I find dismaying about visiting other places, where the white people have become so generic that they don't have a clue what they are (and anybody who tries to retort "They're American!" is missing the point of what our nation truly is).

I also find it amusing to see the annual tradition in Chicago that will be carried out this morning -- where the Chicago River is dyed green.

A NICE, BRIGHT shade of kelly green that looks like something the Lucky Charms leprechaun would wear before you took a bite of that overly-sugary mass that no one above the age of six ought to eat.

Which is different from the dull shade of greyish-green tha the Chicago River has become every other day of the year -- on account of the century's worth of pollution that has accumulated ever since the river flow's direction was altered to keep pollution out of Lake Michigan.

That makes me wonder about all those people who claim that the alteration is to blame for the possibility of Asian Carp getting into Lake Michigan. They'd have the engineering miracle undone.

Which could mean the residue of St. Patrick's Day could wind up in the lake. How many decades worth would it take before the lake turned green -- and we'd have to hear a batch of political dweebs from Michigan and Wisconsin complain about that!

SO FOR THOSE of you who feel compelled to show up at the Columbus Drive parade, here's hoping you enjoy yourself. Although I couldn't help but notice that the commuter trains I rode on Friday made a point of of mentioning that no alcohol would be permitted this weekend.

Although from my past years' experiences, I'm sure there will be those who get themselves "loaded" before catching a train, while also finding a way to smuggle a few bottles on themselves.

Is that the "Chicago Way" when it comes to parades?

-30-

Was cellphone really worth it? Why can’t people be more careful w/ stuff?

Learning of the trio of people who fell into the Chicago River while trying to retrieve a cellphone brought back to my memory a childhood incident that had a less-tragic ending.

CHICAGO RIVER: Pretty on postcards, Repulsive in person

 

I forget how old I was exactly (it might have been 7), but I had just got a cheap camera as a gift. So when the family took a trip to the Museum of Science and Industry, I felt the need to take it along.

I RECALL BEING on an upper level of the museum, looking down at that giant layout of a model railroad that I’m sure all of us locals saw at one point or another in our lives. I wanted to take pictures of the trains from above.

But I got clumsy, lost my grip, and saw my new camera fall a couple of floors.

Following a brief angry blast from my father, he then went down and managed to get the camera – which surprisingly enough, was not broken. To this day, I still have the camera and it still functions. Or at least it did the last time I tried to use it many years ago.

Unfortunately, an early Monday incident had a much less satisfying ending.

FOR IT SEEMS a man was walking along the river when he lost his grip on the cellphone he was using to take pictures of the ice-covered river. It fell into the river, although based on the reports I have read, it seems like it floated on the water’s surface, which is why the man appears to have thought he could just reach into the river and grab it back.

River's St. Patrick's Day shade of green ...

But that is where any resemblance from my moment of clumsiness and this man’s moment of misery comes to an end.

For he slipped and fell into the river.

The woman and another man who were with him, all of whom were from Minnesota and were on their way to New Jersey, felt heroic and dived into the river to try to retrieve him.

... and its usual sickly green shade

IT ENDED BADLY. The body of the cellphone-less man was recovered, although he was pronounced dead at 3:14 a.m. at Northwestern Memorial Hospital. The woman’s body has yet to be found (my police reporter memories make me think she'll turn up in the spring when the ice thaws out), while the other man who tried to do a rescue was at Presence St. Joseph Hospital.

Alive on Monday morning, albeit in critical condition.

The Chicago Sun-Times reported that the deceased man trying to retrieve his telephone was from St. Paul, Minn. It would make sense to think that all three of them were tourists visiting Chicago.

It is very clear to anybody who isn’t a native Chicagoan that they weren’t locals.

FOR ANYBODY WHO was from around here never would have dived into the Chicago River.

We may joke about how it’s a waste to dye the river green for St. Patrick’s Day because the water has a natural green (albeit sickly) color to it. From all the years of waste that got dumped into the river that once was officially classified as “toxic,” but is now merely “polluted.”

Exposure to the water for even a few minutes (which is how long it took for the Police Department’s Marine Unit to recover the men from the river) is long enough to cause severe illness.

Even if that one man survives, he’s probably going to have some lingering problems to his health as a result of his brief “swim” in the river.

I CAN’T THINK of anyone local who would risk that much to get a cellphone back. And I write that knowing full well how much of a pain in the behind it can be to switch cellphones if you don’t have your old phone to retrieve data from. If, as a kid, I had dropped my camera into the river, I never would have expected my father to try to retrieve it.

It’s why I sometimes sarcastically quip that when I die, I’d like to be cremated and have my earthly remains dumped into the Chicago River.

I can’t think of any fate that would more repulse a native Chicagoan than that. Let’s hope the woman’s body is ultimately found so that she doesn’t suffer that fate.

  -30-

Asian Carp threatens to take down those cutesy boat rides on Lake Michigan

It has been 14 years since I last got on board one of those boats that gives people a tour of the Chicago River and Lake Michigan. In fact, I can only recall having been on those boats twice during my lifetime, which for all I know may be two times more than many life-long Chicagoans.

What can I say. New Yorkers have the Statue of Liberty that they take for granted. We Chicagoans have those boat rides out into the lake.

BUT LIKE MANY a Chicagoan, I am aware of those rides because I see how aggressively they market themselves to the tourists who come to our wonderful city. They do offer a unique view of the Chicago skyline.

I recall that boatride I took in 1996 (it was the Democratic National Convention, and I was on board a boat with delegates from across the nation, notebook in hand, just in case somebody said or did something significant or embarrassing that would be newsworthy).

The Tennessee Wildlife Resources Agency put together this guide to help people identify the various species of fish known collectively as the Asian Carp.

As it turns out, I didn’t get any “news” out of the ride. But I still remember seeing the Sears Tower (as it was known then) from straight east out in Lake Michigan. That building never loomed so mightily over downtown Chicago as it did that night in my mind.

In fact, ever since, I have wondered how catastrophic it would be to the city if something were to happen that were to knock down the Willis Tower. One blow really could take out the entire downtown business district, along with surrounding neighborhoods.

THE POINT IS that this is a thought that likely would never have occurred to me had I not gotten the lakeview viewpoint of the building and the downtown skyline as a whole.

Anyway, this is what passed through my mind when I read the Chicago Tribune account Tuesday (http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/local/ct-met-0228-tour-boat-threat-20100301,0,3085886.story) of how the boat owners are complaining about proposals by the Army Corps of Engineers to close the locks that allow boat traffic to go from the Chicago River to Lake Michigan (and back again), all in an attempt to put a stop to the Asian Carp.

Nothing is definite yet, but the newspaper reported that one proposal under consideration is to close off the access for four days per week – in hopes that such a move could slow the path of the carp (who have most recently been found in the parts of the river just outside of Chicago proper) from getting into the Great Lakes.

Making it to the lakes would cause the potential for ecological devastation represented by the carp, which eat everything in sight – thereby taking away sustenance for other species living in the water.

NOW TO SOME people, this plan is unacceptable. They want the locks closed altogether. They want to view the fact that the Chicago River flow was ever reversed by man as a serious mistake, which we are now paying for with this Asian Carp controversy.

But to the boat owners, that would take away so many days that they could offer their boat rides to the people from Keokuk, Pasadena or Paris (not the one in Southern Illinois) that they are complaining it will drive them broke.

“Never in my wildest dreams did I think our company would be so severely threatened by a fish,” the owner of one company that has operated boat tours in Chicago since 1939 told the Tribune.

I don’t blame him for being concerned. His income is being threatened by something beyond his control. With the current economic conditions, finding employment elsewhere could turn out to be very difficult.

BUT I FIND it a bit flippant to dismiss this issue as being about mere “fish.”

Like I have written before, I understand the threat that the Asian Carp poses to our environment, primarily because it was a species that was never intended to be here.

The Army Corps of Engineers (which in the past has been unsuccessful in slowing up the carp’s path – they supposedly have been seen as close as 8 miles from Lake Michigan, although some say their DNA has been found in the lake itself) says it plans to make recommendations about what should be done, and hopes to implement recommendations some time about April 1.

I’m sure those who will lose economically think April Fool’s Day is a nasty joke on them. But my point in all of this is to remind people that while the potential for ecological damage is real and should not be ignored, there are the economic concerns – and not just from the companies offering boat rides.

THE REASON THE flow of the Chicago River was altered (away from the lake) was to improve the access for boats engaged in shipping. There are many goods that are best sent down the river to get them throughtout the Midwestern U.S.

Closing the locks would also close off those shipping routes.

I understand that some are angry about this situation, and it seems like they now want to use Chicago as the whipping boy, of sorts, for this issue. But it wasn’t Chicago that introduced the Asian Carp to the area, and in some ways, the city is just as much a victim of this situation as anyone else (despite all the attempts by surrounding states to file lawsuits shifting blame to Chicago and Illinois)

-30-

The day will come when “The Tower” won’t be Tribune office any longer

It doesn’t shock me to learn that the top management of Tribune Co. is seriously thinking of selling off their iconic office building overlooking Michigan Avenue and the Chicago River – and not just because the media company’s top boss is a real estate developer who buys and sells buildings for a living.

The building that combines with the Wrigley Building to give the “Magnificent Mile” its southernmost entrance point faces the prospect of being sold. That’s what Tribune boss Sam Zell says.

HE’S THROWING OUT the hints that a sale of the building could generate enough cash to keep the actual media properties going awhile longer (at least long enough that he can dream about a future economic uptick that could bolster the company’s long-term financial situation).

Some people are going to cite sentiment and tradition as reasons why the Tribune can’t leave the riverfront – the Chicago Tribune newsroom and corporate offices have been there since the 1920s.

But I can recall as long as 20 years ago hearing Tribune employees themselves talk about the day when they expected to be working in another building. If anything, my reaction to hearing Zell talk about a sale is to be amazed that the company (in previous incarnations) held onto the building as long as it did.

Whenever I heard Tribune newspaper people talk about “the Tower,” they would note that the printing plant had long ago left Michigan Avenue. The paper is printed at an elaborate (and huge) complex on Chicago Avenue where it has easy access to the routes that trucks use to ship bundles of newspapers to vendors across the Chicago area.

I WOULD ALWAYS hear how it would be likely that someday, Tribune Co. would just build an annex to the printing plant to house the newsroom. In some ways, it would make sense. Most newspapers are published out of complexes that more closely resemble factories than downtown office buildings.

Insofar as the idea of a newsroom close to the downtown business district being important, one needs to keep in mind that the Tribune already keeps most of its city-based reporters scattered in the press rooms of various government buildings. Much of its metro staff actually works out of offices in far-flung places such as Oak Brook, Vernon Hills and Tinley Park.

To these people, it really doesn’t matter where the “home office” is located. The whole concept of a downtown-based home is an antique concept.

The gothic castle-like structure desired by Col. Robert R. McCormick (with its 24th floor corporate suite designed with secret passageways so that McCormick could escape undetected) is a luxury most media companies never indulged themselves, and the few that did got rid of long ago.

BESIDES, THERE’S ALWAYS the possibility that talk of a Tribune Annex at their printing plant will never happen. They could just as easily sell the building, then pay rent to their new landlord. There likely would even be some understanding that the rent paid by the newspaper would be minimal – the new owner would be expected to find other ways to make money off ownership of “the Tower.”

It also would mean building maintenance would become someone else’s problem, rather than that of the Tribune.

That is what many people never seemed to comprehend when Zell talked about another division of the company – the Chicago Cubs, which for awhile was anxious to sell off the structure where the team plays its games.

“How can you have the Cubs not own Wrigley Field?,” they would ask. Actually, the Cubs would love it if they could find someone else to pay to maintain the building, and to oversee the significant renovation that will be necessary for the structure to remain in use for several more decades (which is the desire of many Cubs fans, even moreso than a championship ball club).

IF THAT ENTITY could enhance its image, and profitability, by being associated with the Cubs, that would be their reward.

I expect Zell to try to sell off as much in the way of assets as possible. So I can’t get all worked up over the chatter going around Chicago this week that he would dare to sell off the structure.

In fact, I can’t help but believe that the day will come when someone not only buys the building, but deems it worthy of destruction so that something “modern” could be built on the site – which not only oversees the river but also has an excellent view from its upper floors of Lake Michigan.

Col. McCormick had a wonderful view of the Midwestern landscape from his office at the tower. No wonder he was willing to “rule” over his “empire” like a feudal lord – he had a structure like a castle and a personal office/throne room that was impressive. Why look up to someone as low as a U.S. president, when he probably had a more impressive office than Franklin D. Roosevelt did?

SOMEONE IN THE future is going to decide that the site can be put to better use – just like the old Sun-Times Building (the sight of which I actually miss) was sold off and demolished so that New York real estate developer Donald Trump could erect a hideous-looking Chicago-based monument to himself.

When that day comes (and I fully expect to still be alive when it happens), then the one significant issue of historic preservation related to Tribune Tower will occur – what will happen to all those rocks?

For those of you who don’t know what I’m referring to, I mean all those culturally significant boulders that (throughout the years) have been embedded into the outer walls of Tribune Tower.

Tribune correspondents in the early years managed to snag chunks of structures such as the Great Wall of China and the Coliseum in Rome so that they could become a part of McCormick’s monument to himself. Since then, bits of rubble from the now-destroyed World Trade Center have been added. There’s even a rock from the Moon on display inside the building.

I WOULD HOPE that someone would have enough sense to remove those chunks before the building itself ceased to exist.

Otherwise, we face the possibility by forgetting that a piece of the Alamo (which Texans love to remember, but Tejanos could care less about) could be ground into the Chicago pavement, its dust to forever become a part of the Near North Side.

Then again, with Chicago’s growing Latino population, that act could turn out to be intentional.

-30-

EDITOR’S NOTES: Would Tribune Tower become like the Sears Tower, a Chicago structure (http://newsblogs.chicagotribune.com/steve_chapman/2008/06/tribune-tower-f.html) that kept its iconic name even after its parent company sold it off to outside (http://featuresblogs.chicagotribune.com/theskyline/2008/06/tribune-tower-u.html) interests?

Chicago officially recognizes the significance of Tribune Tower to the city’s physical character (http://www.cityofchicago.org/Landmarks/T/TribuneTower.html), which could have had (http://www.emporis.com/en/wm/bu/?id=tribunetower-chicago-il-usa) a significantly different design had a different contest winner been chosen in 1922.