Perhaps
it’s because I’m not 9 years old any more,
But
the word this week that a member of the Flying Wallenda family (of generations
of circus fame) will walk across a high-wire erected over the Chicago River
just doesn’t raise me to the levels of amazement that some would expect.
IT
SEEMS THE Discovery Channel is planning a live broadcast for Nov. 2, with that
high-wire erected from one of the buildings of the Marina Towers (the corn cobs
just north of the river) across the river to the Leo Burnett Building (which
was where some of the real-life ‘Mad Men’ worked back in the day).
To
make the event seem more daring, we’re told that it will be an uphill walk, and
not during any ideal weather conditions. It will be the heart of autumn by
then. It will be windy. It will be chilly.
Nik
Wallenda – who is seventh generation performer from the Wallenda family – could
easily have something go drastically wrong, which could result in him plunging
into the Chicago River.
Even
if he survived the fall’s impact, exposure to the contamination in that river
alone would be enough to kill him.
PROMOTERS
ARE MAKING a point of saying there won’t be any safety nets or harnesses to
protect him if he should slip. The Discovery Channel, I’m sure, is counting on
getting significant exposure. Particularly since officials say the program will
be broadcast in 220 countries around the globe.
Great.
The whole wide world will know of the nonsense taking place in Chicago.
I
don’t doubt that Nik Wallenda is putting himself at some physical risk by
undertaking such a stunt. I’m also sure he has the training (whatever that may
be) to attempt such a stunt and have hopes of completing it still alive.
But
the idea of walking a wire across the river at significant height doesn’t move
me.
IN
FACT, IT just seems so retro. My initial reaction to learning of the stunt was
that it seemed like something from the past.
As
though something a daredevil-type would have tried back in 1914, to the
amazement of the crowds below – many of whom would have been anxious to see him
fall and plunge to his demise, while thinking to him (or her)self. “Fool got
what he deserved.”
Maybe
I’m just too old – a year shy of 50 – to appreciate the “thrill” of the moment.
It
certainly seems to fall far short of the stunt I remember from childhood – back
in 1974 when motorcycle stuntman Evel Knievel tried to jump the Snake River
Canyon in Idaho.
KNIEVEL,
WHO ATTEMPTED 75 ramp-to-ramp jumps and suffered 433 bone fractures during his
career as a stunt-man, failed in that stunt – even though he was flying in a
steam-powered rocket. I still remember the over-hype of that particular moment.
It
seemed so incredible back then. Then again, it was my generation that also got
all worked up when “Fonzie” jumped his motorcycle over all those garbage cans
(only to crash into the Arnolds’ chicken stand). Watching those “Happy Days”
re-runs comes across these days as more insipid than these daredevil stunts.
Personally,
I’ll wish this Wallenda all the success in his stunt, but mostly because I don’t
want my home city to become known as being the site where Nik met his demise.
We
already have too many knuckleheads who came to their end in our fair city; all
in an attempt to amuse the locals on a slow Sunday. It’s just a good thing the
Chicago Bears have that particular weekend off, because otherwise nobody would
care about the Wallenda stunt.
-30-
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