EXTRA: A glass of Nestle Quik for Batman in the Great Beyond?

We've been reliving the campiness of the 1960s-era Batman that gave us actor Adam West as the Caped Crusader, what with West's departure from this realm of existence.

Personally, I still find the most ludicrous moment in the 1966 film that fed off the television series to be the one where Batman is pulled from the ocean by a helicopter -- only to find a shark gnawing on his leg.

OF COURSE, BATMAN was able to cope with the situation because he just happened to have Bat Shark Repellant spray tucked away in his utility belt. Between that, and any moment involving either Julie Newmar or Eartha Kitt as Catwoman, and a chuckle can always crop up on my face.

About to bust out to be hunted down by Batman

But among the tidbits that came up in the assorted obituaries was the fact that West got the part of Batman because of his appearances in Nestle's Quik commercials -- featured as Agent Q, a parody of a suave, debonair type. Just perfect for millionaire Bruce Wayne who uses his fortune to pay for all those goodies he uses to fight crime!

And yes, after watching this aging television spot, I'm sure that Agent Q could kick Austin Power's behind any day of the week, then take down Dr. Evil and all the other characters of that ridiculous world all before settling down to fighting a real villain in the form of the Clown Prince of Crime himself.

After all, you have to give some credit to a super villain like the Joker, who as played by actor Cesar Romero wouldn't give up his mustache and had it covered over with face paint.

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Will people who once would have deplored U.S./Russia tie now be Trump's biggest partisan backers?

It seems that President-elect Donald J. Trump has picked a corporate executive-type person to be secretary of state, and now we’re hearing the allegations that this person is a Russian sympathizer, of sorts.
 

Who's who in this relationship?

Which also combines with the weekend news reports that say the Russian government, in what seems to be its own warped idea of a prank meant to display the inferiority of the Democratic way of life, managed to cause enough havoc with computer hacking to alter the Election Day results of a month ago.

WE’RE NOT SURE just how, or to what degree. But the implication being that some will now believe that Russian premier Vladimir Putin had more of a say in Trump being able to defeat Hillary Clinton than did the will of the voters.

If this were the old days, I’m sure we’d be hearing all kinds of hostile rhetoric and threats calling for the impeachment of Trump before he could even be formally confirmed by the Electoral College and Congress as U.S. president.

We might even hear talk of “commies” and all the other Cold War-era trash talk. Except that technically, Russia isn’t Communist any longer.

Heck, the Union of Soviet Socialist Republics hasn’t existed in decades. There are young people who cast their first ballots in this year’s election cycle who would have no first-hand concept of what the Soviet Union was.

AND AS FOR some older people, they are inclined to think there is no real difference.

Particularly since Russian head Putin does date his own government service back to the USSR (which wasn’t just the subject of a Beatles song that itself was a takeoff on all-American Chuck Berry’s “Back in the U.S.A.”).

If Trump/Putin are Robin/Batman, was Clinton some sort of Catwoman turned good?,

For Putin was a one-time head of the KGB and an intelligence official within the new Russian Federation.

My point being that it astounds me that the ideologues of our society who once would have been scared out of their wits out of the very mention of Russian influence within our government are now going to be the ones who will speak out the loudest in Trump’s defense.

 

CONWAY: Does she believe anything she says?

AFTER ALL, HE’S the guy with the “Make America Great Again” vision that mostly consists of ignoring anything that white people don’t particularly feel like addressing.

Trump spokeswoman Kellyanne Conway officially denounces the talk of Russian influence over the elections as “laughable and ridiculous.” Because I’m sure the last thing that she’d want to admit is that Trump is more than capable of falling for the nefarious pranks of a potentially-hostile nation.

As for the new secretary of state, he’s the former head of Exxon-Mobil. Rex Tillerson has been CEO since 2006, and Trump says he likes the idea that he has negotiated deals for that company with foreign governments – including Russia.

Of course, he’s been used to negotiating deals that could focus on a certain bottom line that would benefit the stockholders of his own company – and certainly didn’t have to take into account the concerns of the United States of America as a whole.

ALTHOUGH IT SHOULDN’T be a surprise. If you think about it, Trump is a corporate-minded person who is inclined to think government gets in the way of his own business dealings. Why shouldn’t he be expected to pick a batch of corporate-minded people.

That’s what the people who managed to give Trump a majority of the Electoral College vote should have realized they were creating for this country’s leadership when they marked their ballots for Trump accordingly. They voted for “Robin” to Putin’s “Batman.”

 

CLINTON: Did Russia "fear" her?

I’m sure the ideologues, now that it suits their partisan interests, will claim that the past is the past and that we’re all friendly with Russia, even though British Defense Secretary Michael Fallon said Saturday to the BBC that Putin’s interests are in propping up his own nation and that the U.S. shouldn’t be so eager to treat it as an equal partner.

Then again, a Trump presidency was eager to aggravate China by talking openly with Taiwan just a few weeks ago and now says he doesn’t feel bound by the “One China” policy the U.S. has held for years – making me wonder if that was merely because the Chinese government didn’t offer similar assistance in his desire to beat Clinton. And whom we should now think of as the “real American” whose presence the Russians would have feared!

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Would Blagojevich be a classic Batman supervillain, or a one-time two-bit geek?

I know this is a thought that will be regarded as heresy by comic book geeks the world over. But to me, Batman is that cheesy comic parody from 1960s television. Adam West and Burt Ward rule!

Not that I plan to be among those people in Rosemont on Saturday to see the pair. The idea of spending time at a cocktail party with two aging actors strikes me as being a bit depressing (although the idea of hanging with Julie Newmar – no matter how old she may be these days – is enticing).

I’M REFERRING TO the Wizard World Chicago Comic Con event being held this weekend, giving various comic characters a chance to show themselves off in hopes of making some significant extra cash. People wishing to go to that Batman cocktail party will have to cough up $20 and pay for their own drinks, in addition to the $25 admission fee to the event itself.

Of course, most of the attention that event has received in recent days is because of one of the other attractions. Rod Blagojevich.

He’s going to be on hand for about six hours on Saturday in Rosemont, signing autographs and giving away pictures of himself, along with engaging in some brief chitchat with people who attend.

The event’s organizers claim there is nothing odd about inviting Illinois’ former governor. They say their event is about pop culture, and that Blagojevich has now become much more than just a government official. He is a personality in and of himself.

I DON’T KNOW if I think that highly of Milorod.

But I have been wondering if it is all too appropriate for Batman and Robin to be in Rosemont on the same day as Blagojevich. Because a part of me wonders what kind of Batman supervilian we could concoct from the persona of Rod Blagojevich. I have no problem envisioning the Goofy Guv being included on this Rogue's Gallery of criminal masterminds who were defeated by Batman.

During his three years on prime-time television (and in reruns throughout the decades that these days air on WWME, channel 23), Batman took on regulars such as the Joker, Penguin and the Catwoman. But he did battle with such lesser personas as the cowboy Shame (played by Cliff Robertson), Louie the Lilac (Milton Berle) and Bookworm (Roddy McDowall) – who may have been the most literate criminal mastermind to exist in Gotham City.

So how would it be such a stretch for Batman to have to fight off the schemes of The Goofy Guv (alias, Miles Roderick Blagoyawhatever)?

ENVISION BATMAN FEELING the need to rid mighty Gotham of corrupt politicians engaging in schemes meant to enrich themselves at taxpayer expense. The real-life Blagojevich persona wouldn’t need to be tweaked all that much in order to turn him into a super-villain.

Think about it.

The Joker was a hideous clown, while Catwoman was a sexy feline. That pompadour atop Blagojevich’s head would be his visual trademark. Perhaps they could even come up with a gimmick by which the Goofy Guv would use all that mound of hair in order to hide weapons to try to fight off Batman and Robin.

He would dress in overly flashy suits that probably cost a lot of money, but don’t have enough true class to show what a pretender he is at being a respectable part of society.

WHEN TIME COMES for Batman and the Goofy Guv to brawl (BAM! POW! SWOOSH!), he’ll strip down to a jogging suit and try to run away using his incredible stamina. Of course, Batman will have the Bat-mobile to use to catch him.

When it turns out in mid-episode that the Goofy Guv actually manages to capture Robin, thereby requiring Batman to come rushing in to his rescue, we will see some scheme by which Robin is dangled from the ceiling, while being tortured by Elvis Presley’s music being played at deafening sound levels.

All the male villains had a female cohort. The Goofy Guv would have Chatty Patti – who will leave you speechless with a stream of profanity if you get too close to her man.

Of course, all of Batman’s villains had comical henchmen to help in their criminal schemes. That would be a problem for the Goofy Guv, since as far as I can tell, no one in Illinois government likes him enough to want to have anything to do with him. The Goofy Guv and Chatty Patti would have to ride solo.

NO HENCHMEN IN pompadoured wigs and jogging suits for the conniving couple.

In the end, Batman always prevails. That would happen with the Goofy Guv as well. And I can picture the perfect Batman-type ending.

All Batman has to do is reach into his utility belt and produce an aerosol cannister of hairspray remover. One spray of that at the Goofy Guv’s head, and his hair becomes such an unruly mess that it falls over his eyes – thereby leaving him blinded long enough for Batman to capture him (while Yvonne Craig’s Batgirl manages to chase down Chatty Patti on her purple motorcycle).

Which would be the appropriate outcome, because I can’t help but think a real crime is taking place this weekend up on Rosemont.

REMEMBER HOW I said people have to pay an extra $20, plus the cost of their drinks, to attend that Batman cocktail party? By comparison, people who want a Blagojevich autograph will have to pay an extra $50 and an extra $80 to have their picture taken with the Goofy Guv.

The idea that Milorod is worth more than television icons like West and Ward must be a crime against our society’s pop culture.

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EDITOR’S NOTE: Just to acknowledge fact, Rod Blagojevich did put in several hours Saturday at the Comic Con, signing autographs, wandering the grounds and joking with the people to whom a fun day is getting to meet “Bo Duke” and “Captain Kirk.” The Chicago Tribune managed to capture the sight of Blagojevich sitting in the driver’s seat of the Batmobile (photo eight in the gallery), which makes me wonder if Adam West should knock some sense into Rod for that alone.