Wednesday, April 22, 2009

No “go” for Blagojevich

U.S. District Judge James Zagel is a party pooper.

That trite talk is about the best way I can describe my thoughts about the federal judge who on Tuesday refused to grant permission to former Gov. Rod Blagojevich to leave the United States while he faces a criminal indictment.

WE ALL (EXCEPT for perhaps the 1 percent of the population that lives in a cave and will come out when the feds try to put together a jury of Blagojevich’s peers) know about the “reality” television program that considered our now-impeached governor to be a “celebrity.”

They wanted to put him into a jungle in Costa Rica with some other dubious celebrities (I’m sorry, but I have never heard of “Speidy”) and see who could make the biggest fool of themselves – in exchange for $80,000 per episode.

It would have been entertaining in a perverse sort of way (just like most of the pop culture these days) to see our perfectly pompadoured ex-gov try to pretend he knows how to use a machete without cutting off any of his own body parts, or to show off other outdoors skills.

All of this would have been so he could come up with some money that would ensure his attorneys (whoever they wind up being by the time he goes to trial) get paid something for their work.

BECAUSE AS THINGS appear now, the federal government is using all its powers to ensure it confiscates just about everything of value owned by Blagojevich. He needed the money badly enough to subject his reputation to this character suicide.

But after Tuesday, it appears that it won’t happen. Zagel rejected the request by Blagojevich’s attorneys to let him leave the United States in order to tape the program this summer that NBC plans to air later this year.

It’s not for the usual reason. Nobody seriously thinks that Blagojevich is delusional enough to think he can refuse to return to the United States once outside the federal borders.

For one thing, I can’t help but think Costa Rica wouldn’t hesitate to boot him if he even tried seeking political asylum. For another, I can’t envision Patti Blagojevich (who was a strong influence in Blagojevich’s decision not to live in Springfield while he was governor) being willing to live in Central America.

ZAGEL SAID WITH a straight face he thinks Blagojevich should be in the United States to work with his attorneys in order to prepare his legal defense. To that idea, I have to retort, “Who’s Kidding Whom?”

The reason Blagojevich has gone through as many attorneys as he has thus far is that they are finding him to be a quirky individual who is determined to be his “own man,” even if it means going against their legal advice.

Just because Blagojevich is present in the room with his attorneys does not mean they are going to have much in the way of influence over him. Milorod is a man who is going to say and do whatever he wants. The idea that keeping him off television is going to somehow result in a more serious legal defense is a laughable concept.

In short, I would have got a kick from seeing the man I first met as a lowly state legislator from the Ravenswood and Lincoln Square neighborhoods turn into a celebrity freak (unlike someone like Dan Rostenkowski, who after serving his prison stint has become a political pundit with a quirkier-than-usual “Only in Chicago” type of story).

IT COULD HAVE turned into a weekly show of how low our political people can sink themselves in an attempt to remain in the public eye.

In fact, there’s really only one entity I can see benefiting from Zagel’s ruling, and that was the executives at NBC who seriously thought Blagojevich was “celebrity” material for a television show about celebrity survival skill stories.

When I first heard the stories that Blagojevich and one-time Olympic skater Nancy Kerrigan were among those “celebrities,” my honest reaction was to wonder what Nancy could be thinking by allowing herself to be seen with Blagojevich.

Her later denial that she ever gave the show any consideration was a totally believable statement in that she realized how much Milorod would drag down her reputation.

I CAN’T HELP but think that this particular attempt at a “reality” show has the potential to drag down the whole genre – exposing these programs for the trite content and unrealistic tales being told.

If Blagojevich could have been a part of such a program, then it could be argued that his presence did accomplish something for the public good – less stupid television.

Instead, Zagel has ensured that a Blagojevich-less program will only include some pseudo-celebs (people everybody thinks they’re supposed to have heard of, but never have) and will probably come and go unnoticed.

And we’ll never get the answer to that eternal question, “How would the Hair have held up in a Central American jungle?”

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