No more rock ‘n’ roll McDonalds? I think Chicago will overcome the loss

Chicago is going to lose something come year’s end that some people seem to regard as a semi-serious tourist attraction. Yet I can’t help but regard the news with nothing more than a yawn.

Soon to be history. But is it really a loss?

I’m referring to the rock ‘n’ roll McDonalds. As in the McDonalds franchise at Clark and Ontario Streets in the River North section of Chicago just north of the Chicago River.

I’M TALKING ABOUT a McDonalds that serves Big Macs and the rest of the junk food menu that one can find at any other McDonalds across the country, or in many parts of the world.

But what made this one different, and is the reason there are people who thought it important to stop off at the place while visiting Chicago, is the wide assortment of rock music memorabilia that was on display – along with other elements of our pop culture such as “pet rocks” (remember that fad), early cellular telephones the size of a brick and 8-track tape players.

Which I’m sure kids who think the world’s content is meant to be downloaded look upon as an aberration, and evidence that their grandparents consumed some seriously-strong illicit substances when they were young.

That particular McDonalds is going to be closed to the public as of Dec. 30 to undergo a significant remodeling as McDonalds turns the place into what they see as their restaurant of the future.

No more Beatles figures under glass

MORE LUXURIOUS SEATING. Kiosks that will allow people to place their own orders rather than talk to some senior citizen who’s supplementing their retirement income with the kind of job they thought they had left behind some five decades ago in life.

But no more of the rock ‘n’ roll décor. For now, the owner of the items plans to put the whole collection in storage. Which I suppose is a step up from the notion that it all belongs in a garbage dumpster somewhere.

In short, this McDonalds will become just a McDonalds – a place to stop off for a fast-food burger or McNuggets (or one of their salads, if you want to fool yourself into thinking fast food can be a nutritious meal). Nothing more to make it an “experience” more thrilling than any that Jimi Hendrix and his band ever gave to their fans.

More pseudo-nostalgia from Chicago's past

Yes, I realize some people who visited Chicago felt compelled to stop there. Perhaps they think there was something about a Quarter Pounder eaten there (other than the higher-than-typical prices charged there, which McDonalds justified on the grounds that it was expensive to maintain such a décor.

BUT I’LL BE honest. I never got the concept.

The rock ‘n’ roll McDonalds was remodeled in 2005, and I honestly have to admit I have yet to see it. I’ve never been there. Since I don’t anticipate the need to go to that particular McDonalds site before the end of December, it appears I’ll never see it.

There has been a rock ‘n’ roll McDonalds since 1983 (the year I graduated high school and was likely foolish enough to think something like this could be "cool"), and I think I once went to it. Seriously, all the displays just struck me as being tacky, and the Quarter Pounder I likely had there wasn’t any different from a McDonalds burger I’ve ever had anywhere.

Was city's namesake band Chicago's best, ...

For those individuals who think they saw something unique, I’d wonder if they also felt compelled to visit the Hard Rock café that used to be a few blocks away. Or the Ed Debevic’s restaurant that gave us a pseudo-50’s era diner experience.

ALMOST AS THOUGH actor Henry Winkler’s “Fonzie” character would come riding up on his motorcycle and tell you to “Sit on it” if you happened to annoy him that day.

Perhaps I’m overly cynical. I ultimately don’t think a McDonalds experience is unique. It’s the ultimate generic experience of Planet Earth. I’m not convinced the new futuristic McDonalds is going to be much better than the experience I’d get if I went to the McDonalds located about a mile from my current humble abode.

... or were Buckinghams better?

Now if you really wanted a dining experience that also fed off pop music, you should have went to the one-time Demon Dogs stand located by the DePaul University campus underneath the Fullerton Avenue “el” train platform. It was run by the one-time managers of the old rock band Chicago, and I always thought the location was appropo considering the band that gave us "25, or 6 to 4" was originally named for the Chicago Transit Authority..

Album covers, music awards and other memorabilia used to adorn the walls and could be enjoyed while munching on a ketchup-less hot dog. It’s certainly more intriguing than all the Elvis stuff that a true fan would rather travel to Graceland to see.

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EXTRA: O.J. vs. “Sweetness” – several hundred dollars difference these days

A couple of bucks for his cardboard

I remember back when O.J. Simpson was a big deal as an athlete – an All-Pro football player with the Buffalo Bills who also had charisma and charm and was well on his way to a celebrity lifestyle.

Now, he’s the guy who did nine years in prison (for supposedly threatening to harm people whom he says stole sports memorabilia from him even though many will forevermore think him guilty of the other crimes for which he was acquitted), and apparently became lucky enough this week to learn he qualified for parole from a Nevada corrections facility. He could be released by October.

Worth $1,000 if authentically autographed

I COULDN’T HELP but look up a little bit of data on the sports memorabilia market – particularly that involved with the trading cards that used to be a kiddie-thing, but now get treasured by people wishing to relive their sporting memories.

For what it’s worth, the book value for an O.J. Simpson card from the 1976 set produced by Topps Chewing Gum is $5.63, but only if it’s in prime physical shape. For anything less, a buck or two is about all O.J. is worth these days, according to SportsLots.com.

By comparison, there’s another card from that same set – one portraying Chicago Bears superstar Walter Payton. Admittedly, that card (which I remember actually owning as a kid) gets value added because it was the “rookie” card for Payton – he was a fresh prospect from Jackson State University who was just beginning his days of trying to make the Bears a respectable team. Fantasies of a Super Bowl were still a decade away in the future.

The same price guide gives a book value for the Payton at $207 – and for what it’s worth, I found one person Thursday on eBay who had such a card and already had bids of $449.99 for it.

Book value: About one dollar

QUITE A DIFFERENCE for pieces of cardboard from the months following the Bicentennial whose only real difference is the image they depict.

And also an example of just how far the mighty are capable of falling in life. A point we should all keep in mind on those occasions when we’re tempted to do something stupid.

Although those of us who remember the Naked Gun movies that included Simpson as an actor know that the “real” villain amongst athletes is Reggie Jackson. After all, he was going to kill the queen!

  -30-

I got my Topinka dish; and I didn’t even have to go to the estate sale

A Topinka item with no purpose? How appropo!

During my more than two decades of being a political reporter-type person, I have accumulated some pieces of memorabilia ranging from a pot holder depicting the face of one-time Illinois gubernatorial candidate John Schmidt to a ball cap of Bill Bradley – the one-time New Jersey senator.

Yet the item that amuses me the most is a glass dish with lid that I have kept on whatever desk I have worked at since back when I was a Statehouse reporter-type person in Springfield.

THE DISH WOULD be ordinary glass, not even tinted any particular color. But it has embossed on its lid the Illinois State Seal and the name of Judy Baar Topinka – who back then was the state treasurer.

I remember Topinka herself giving me the dish, while also concocting a tale about the many different uses one could put the dish to. Which makes me suspect it’s really just a less-than-tacky little trinket that serves no real purpose.

I also recall the reason she felt compelled to give me the dish was that one of her aides saw all the political junk I had accumulated, and he was offended that Topinka’s persona was NOT represented amongst the mess.

Including Judy in the mess was something he thought she would appreciate.

ALL OF THIS popped into my mind when I learned how Topinka’s family held an estatesale this past weekend; allowing people into her cluttered home in suburban Riverside to give them a chance to find themselves a great bargain on some item they could use for themselves.

Considering that I remember Topinka herself occasionally talking of how she’d shop at second-hand stores and at estate sales, I suspect she’d find it totally appropriate that her possessions were disposed of in such a manner.

Just a few of the items for sale this weekend

I didn’t make it out to Riverside – heck, I already have my Topinka-related possession (which for all I know will wind up at an estate sale hopefully to be held decades from now once I pass on). Although I saw the description on estatesales.net and the photographs of the merchandise that make it clear a lifetime’s worth of possessions were being unloaded.

It looks like the ultimate garage sale was held Thursday through Saturday in Riverside. The perfect place for Topinka-type people to spend an afternoon rummaging for that item they absolutely had to own.

NOT THAT I would expect anything of significant value was for sale. For one thing, Topinka held an estate sale of some of her possessions back in 2007.

The listing back then said much political memorabilia (including autographed photographs of her with assorted politicos) was up for sale, with some of the proceeds given back to the Republican Party that she was a loyal member of for so long – even though she could also get along with Democrats.

Which make me think that our state would be so better off these days if we hadn’t lost Topinka back in December when she passed away just after Election Day but before she could begin serving the new four-year term as comptroller to which she had been re-elected.

Thinking of Topinka and her junk makes me wonder how she’d be reacting to the stalemate taking place these days between Gov. Bruce Rauner and the Democratic leaders of the General Assembly in putting together a budget for the soon-to-be current fiscal year.

I HAVE NO doubt she’d be criticizing Mike Madigan and John Cullerton for their actions – she was a GOPer, after all. But I also have no doubt she would be appalled by the childlike tantrums being thrown by government officials of all political persuasions these days.

I don’t think she would have had that same press conference that current Comptroller Leslie Munger held to blame Madigan and Cullerton for the pending government shutdown (only 16 days ‘til July 1). She would have been trying to find that middle ground that would prevent a shutdown from being necessary.

And she’d probably be the one who – in private – would tell Rauner in rather blunt language what a knucklehead he’s behaving like and how quickly all of this could turn the people of Illinois against him if he lets his partisan desires to whack at the labor unions prevent state government from fulfilling its obligations to the people.

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EXTRA: We're focused on No. 16. But what would Lincoln (really) think?

Perhaps it is appropriate that Illinois is the 16^th governmental entity in the United States to pass into law a measure that permits gay couples the same option to be in a legal marriage as anyone else.

Pols wish they were Lincoln, but would he want them?

For Abraham Lincoln – the public official whom many political people like to emulate themselves after – was the 16^th president of our nation.

AND GOV. PAT Quinn couldn’t help but try to bring some Lincolnesque atmosphere into play when he performed the ceremonies that made the law effective in Illinois – come June 1.

Quinn had a desk that once belonged to Lincoln set up for him at the UIC Forum, and he used it to actually sign the bill into law.

Supposedly, Lincoln used the desk when he wrote one of his inaugural addresses. Perhaps people can fantasize that he used it while writing the Gettysburg Address whose memory we have been celebrating in recent weeks.

It’s probably a cheap piece of furniture that meant little to Lincoln personally. But it isn’t unusual for politicians from Illinois to try trotting out Lincoln artifacts in hopes it gives them more credibility.

I RECALL WHEN then-Secretary of State George Ryan conducted a drawing in 1991 (that wound up giving the Republican Party’s operatives control over the redistrict process for that decade). Ryan came up with a glass bowl that supposedly once belonged to Lincoln.

Perhaps it was once a bowl containing some pieces of fruit in the Lincoln home living room. But it gained an aura not otherwise worthy of 1840s glassware.

Other politicians have produced stove-pipe hats that supposedly were once worn by Lincoln – hoping it would bolster the significance of their actions.

QUINN: Wanted Lincoln-esque aura

So Quinn dredging up a Lincoln desk? We should have expected it.

THAT DOESN’T MEAN, however, that we should think of Wednesday’s actions as being all that more important. It had enough significance that we followed in the path of Iowa and Minnesota – but seem to be far ahead of Indiana when it comes to the gay marriage issue.

In the latter state, the conservative ideologues are determined to take a stance on behalf of Hoosierdom – they’re pushing for an amendment to the Indiana state Constitution that would specify marriages for gay couples would NOT be legitimate.

Based on the reporting coming out of Indianapolis, it seems like the GOP leaders wish this issue would go away. They’re not about to do anything to follow in the lead of Illinois – and may well be the last Midwestern U.S. state to get with the program on this issue.

But will they be dragged all the way the other way?

IT WOULD REINFORCE the belief I have (as a result of personal observation throughout the years) that there are those within the GOP who are ashamed that their political party was once commonly known as the “Party of Lincoln.”

Yet I also think that when Democratic Party operatives try to spew talk that if Lincoln were alive today, he’d be a Dem! Even though I found it interesting to hear Newton Minow Wednesday on the "Chicago Tonight" program that John F. Kennedy himself wanted to visit Lincoln's Springfield home the first time he ever visited the capital city in 1956.

A Dem tie? That may be too much of a stretch. Yet I can’t help but think he’d be appalled on some level on the idea that the political party he helped to create (Lincoln was the first Republican ever elected president) has gone so far the opposite direction.

KENNEDY: Respected the Lincoln mood

Would he be shaking his head in shame? Would he feel empathy for gay people that he appeared to feel for black people – even if there is rhetorical evidence he considered them too different to ever fit in with the masses of this nation?

IT MAKES ME wonder. Lincoln in his lifetime was a member of the Whig Party who converted to Republicanism. The idea of political change was in him – even if the Dems on Wednesday tried to play off his image as being one of them.

Could he well be the leader of a legitimate third party if he were around in the 21^st Century? One that would show the Tea Party types to be a batch of dinks too wrapped up in themselves to acknowledge the greater good?

  -30-

EDITOR'S NOTE: I'm not sure I really think Wednesday's bill-signing ceremony was "historic" in nature. But the Catholic ritual of exorcism that took place in Springfield, Ill., would be considered comical -- if not for the fact that it feeds into the hateful beliefs that ought to be exorcised from our society.
 

Will we, the people of the United States of America, ever get reimbursed for the losses Jackson, Jr., allegedly cost us?

There may be only one thing more bizarre than the load of kitschy items former Rep. Jesse Jackson, Jr., allegedly violated the law with when he used campaign funds to buy them.

JACKSON: Will we ever see money?

That would be the inability of the federal government thus far to get much restitution from Jackson for the financial losses – supposedly, $750,000 – our society suffered.

THAT IS THE reason this is considered a criminal act – the fact that money donated to a campaign fund ought to have been used strictly to support Jackson’s re-election bids, and not to pay for personal purchases.

Even though one could make a serious argument that the token opposition Jackson would get from the Rev. Anthony Williams (sometimes a Democrat, or a Republican, or a Libertarian or a Green – if not an independent) wouldn’t have required much of any money for “Jr.” to win.

Does that mean any campaign spending on Jackson’s part was wrong?

Jackson popped back into the news on Friday when officials let it be known that they wanted the congressman’s home in the Adams-Morgan section of Washington (think of something not quite as tony and upscale as Lincoln Park in Chicago) sold – with the federal government keeping the money as reimbursement for what he supposedly owes.

IT HAS BEEN reported that the home once had a $2 million-plus value on it. Even in today’s real estate market where it is unlikely Jackson would get full value, he ought to be capable of coming up with enough to pay off this particular expense.

Unless it turns out that officials would rather NOT have him be able to come up with the money. Would they really rather keep him indebted to the United States for many years to come – so as to inhibit his ability to ever fully recover in life?

I don’t know what to think.

But it does strike me as odd that the auction that was supposed to occur of all the actual items Jackson purchased was never able to take place.

I UNDERSTAND THAT there is reason to question the legitimacy of some of the items that qualify as memorabilia (a guitar once played by Eddie Van Halen back when he cooperated with Michael Jackson).

It may be enough of a taint to prevent any of the items from being able to get full value from the collector-types who will pay the big bucks to assuage their egos by saying they own the actual item that was used in some pseudo-significant moment.

But I notice that the feds say they have no intention of giving back any of the items that were confiscated – even though they’re not going to sell any of them.

So what happens with the alleged Muhammad Ali boxing gloves or the hat worn by Jackson – or even the pricey gold-plated Rolex watch or multiple fur coats, whose memorabilia value would have been that they once belonged to Jackson himself?

SOMEBODY COULD GET a laugh that they now own the watch that got Jackson put in prison – particularly if they wound up paying far less than the $43,350 that the former Congressman himself allegedly paid to get it.

Does this literally wind up being packed away in a federal warehouse reminiscent of that final scene from Raiders of the Lost Ark? It would be a waste if that happened – although it would be even more appalling if some federal bureaucrat somehow wound up with the items.

That would be more criminal in nature than anything Jackson might have done to warrant the 2 ½-year prison term that he will have to start serving (in North Carolina, it seems) in coming weeks.

  -30-

Chia Obama just tacky, not offensive

I’m starting to think I made a mistake earlier this week when I was at a Walgreen’s pharmacy.

While waiting in line to pay for a newspaper, I happened to look up and see a row of boxes containing the “Chia Obama,” the takeoff on the Chia Pet that is made to look like a bust of our nation’s 44th president.

IF I HAD known then what I know now, I would seriously have considered walking up to the row, taking all of them and making a large purchase.

Of course, I would have made sure to do nothing that would construe opening the boxes. I wouldn’t have even removed the price stickers from the boxes, and I would have kept my receipt. For I would have wanted it to be clearly evident to anyone who looked closely that these particular “Chia Obama” figurines were purchased from a Walgreen’s.

Because now, Walgreen’s has stopped selling the items.

One can purchase all kinds of souvenir magazines, designer plates, caps and t-shirts depicting Obama’s visage or his campaign logo at a Walgreen’s – and not just the one located in the Hyde Park neighborhood.

SOME OF THESE items are extremely tacky looking and cheap (in quality, not in price). Walgreen’s stores throughout the Chicago area are a goldmine for people looking to find all kinds of pseudo-souvenirs of this city’s first president (and no, I don’t count Ronald Reagan).

But Walgreen’s officials think it is the “Chia Obama” that reaches the level of potential offensiveness that they decided this week to take a stand and remove the item from their shelves.

It appears some people think the light brown Obama figurine with mossy green hair think is offensive to the president’s reputation. Some think it is borderline racist.

The company that manufactures the figurine are not offensive, but are, “hope, courage and pro-American.”

PERSONALLY, I THINK the truth lies in between these two extremes.

My initial reaction to learning of the “Chia Obama” was that it was a ridiculous concept, in large part because I don’t think the figurine looks anylike like Barack Obama. In fact, it barely looks human.

It looks like a generic face with green-dyed hair. In fact, my first reaction was to think that the figurine was supposed to be some sort of pop musician – rather than a political figure (be honest, most political people try to hide the photographs that show they once had dyed hair).

I didn’t think it offensive as much as just silly. And if being “pro-American” means being silly, then I suppose it is – although I personally would prefer to think that our nation stands for ideals greater than having a hair-like substance that is mossy green.

NOW I REALIZE that the “Chia Obama” will be available for those people who enjoy shopping on the Internet, and I wouldn’t be surprised to find some other retail chain that eventually agrees to carry the item.

It is the perfect impulse purchase for people who want to think they are making some sort of financial investment by buying a piece of memorabilia that will appreciate in value.

Actually, all this will appreciate in is kitsch. But buying this thing is no more ridiculous than buying one of those souvenir plates (complete with its own stand) that depicts Obama in all his presidential glory.

None of these items is ever going to be worth more than the $19.95 (plus tax) that one has to pay for it these days. It may someday be worth exactly that much (but in an era where inflation will make $20 of the future worth about as much as a buck or two is now).

SO PERHAPS NOT even all the Walgreen’s stickers and receipts in the world would add to the value of a “Chia Obama.” It probably is a good think that I just shook my head, moved ahead in line, and plunked down a couple of quarters for my copy of the Chicago Sun-Times (the cash registers at this particular Walgreen’s were not functioning properly, and the paper scanned at its old price).

Then, there’s always the most important reason why I should not have purchased even one of those “Chia Obama” figurines. I would have felt incredibly ridiculous having people see me toss away a perfectly good $20 bill and some change to purchase an item that fits the very definition of absurdity.

I would have been the person with the “Chia Obama” cradled under one arm, while holding my newly purchased newspaper over my face so that perhaps no one would recognize me.

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EDITOR’S NOTES: Not only can you read all about the “Chia Obama” here, you also can (http://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2009/04/08/Walgreens-says-no-to-Ch-Ch-Chia-Obama/UPI-73961239200664/) watch the television commercials that promote the tacky item.

What will archeologists of 1,000 years from now think of us if they find a “Chia Obama” figurine (http://www.chiaobama.com/) among the rubble of our society.

Much of Obama memorabilia on the market these days is not worth the price

I’m trying to figure out what kind of person is going to shell out good money for dishes with Barack Obama’s picture emblazoned on them.

Or what about those Obama coins being sold through television advertising? How many people are going to spend legitimate money for phony currency?

THEN, THERE’S ALL the other assorted junk being peddled these days with the Obama visage. Where does it stop?

Now, I’m not talking about the merchandise being sold by the Obama campaign, which mostly consists of campaign buttons and assorted sport shirts and t-shirts, all of which have the campaign logo – the red, white and blue “O” that sort of resembles a rising sun.

We’re talking about all the petty junk that’s being sold to suckers with assorted rhetoric implying that they’re buying “limited edition” items that will have monetary (as well as historic) value in future years.

Both sides of a campaign mailing that wants us to think Barack Obama kills children. It is one mailing I will keep as an example of how ugly Campaign '08 became at times. Illustration provided by www.BlackRepublicans08.com
How many people are buying this junk thinking they’re ensuring they will have an inheritance to pass along to their children (or something they can sell for “big bucks” in their graying years)?

NOW I WILL be the first to admit I am intrigued by the electoral process, and find displays of old memorabilia from past campaigns to be interesting. (Yes, I probably do need to get a life).

But it amazes me that people think this mass-produced pap is worth buying, or would ever have value. I can’t envision spending $34.95 (plus $5.99, shipping and handling) for an Obama dish that has (in my opinion) a horrid likeness of the man.

There’s also the fact that for anything like memorabilia to accumulate value, it has to be fairly old and scarce. The mass-produced stuff is never going to fall into that category.

In fact, I’m inclined to think that the Obama items that people received free-of-charge are the ones most likely to have some value, because they have the chance to be scarce and unique.

WHEN IT COMES to the Obama ’08 saga, there are three items I am going to hang on. Two are mailings put out by political people meant to influence the way people vote.

One is a mailing by the Illinois Democratic Party that is a glossy, multi-colored “palm card” featuring the Obama campaign logo, and informing us potential voters who they should vote for in the Feb. 5 primary.

The other is a glossy card printed in brown and white tones by the Black Republican political action committee, which tells us would-be voters that not only are one of 10 black babies aborted, it tells us, “That’s just fine with Barack Obama.”

Both of these items catch my attention because they show the tone of the campaign. It will be possible for some future generation to pick up these items (so long as they don’t manage to get destroyed while in my possession) and get a sense of the degree to which certain people supported Obama while others opposed him with hostile rhetoric.

THOSE, ALONG WITH some Obama items I have from his pre-presidential campaigns, are the things that might stand some chance of growing in value someday.

By comparison, the third item I have says nothing.

It is a roughly 7-inch-tall punching bag designed to sit on a desktop (there’s also a six-foot-tall version) that depicts “Bam Bam Obama.” It’s cute and colorful (and sits about five inches from my laptop).

It’s good for a quick chuckle when my mind gets hung up on how to phrase a thought while writing news or commentary.

BUT MOST IMPORTANTLY, I only paid $2 for it – which is about $1.95 more than it will ever be worth.

At least I didn’t get ripped off as badly as people who are shelling out money for those plates (whose ads I see every time I turn on the television or pick up the newspaper)!

While I realize that some people (including my step-mother’s mother) like to collect plates (she keeps them on special wall-hangers in her dining area), there usually is a theme to those plates.

The most common one is to pick up a souvenir plate from a gift shop whenever someone happens to travel somewhere. The plates become a record, of sort, of places they have traveled to.

HOW DOES AN Obama plate fit into such a theme? For that matter, what kind of theme could an Obama plate ever fit into?

I can’t envision anyone would ever eat off such a plate, although I once stumbled across a website written by one of “those people” who is determined to believe Obama is a “Socialist” who said he’d never punish his cat by making it eat off an Obama plate.

If one really wants some sort of useless item for an Obama souvenir, I recommend a postage stamp. Admittedly, Obama won’t be eligible to appear on a U.S. stamp until at least one full year after he dies. But the African nations of Liberia and Chad beat his father’s homeland of Kenya to the punch, issuing an official stamp for sending mail within their boundaries. Those might wind up being some of the most intriguing Obama memorabilia to exist, even though most of them will wind up being saved by collectors - rather than ever being used to mail a letter.

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EDITOR’S NOTES: Denver was a mecca for people wishing to buy all kinds of tacky items (http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2008/aug/27/uselections2008.barackobama4) depicting Barack Obama’s picture.

Some people are still so bitter about the Election Day results that they are taking it out on the (http://www.imao.us/index.php/2008/11/obama-plates/) mass-produced, overpriced attempts at memorabilia.

Stamp collectors can get into the whole Obama-mania if they’re willing to purchase stamps (http://www.imao.us/index.php/2008/11/obama-plates/) from African nations.