Are secessionists (of sort) on the rise in Illinois? Or just anti-Chi trash-talk!

It’s one of those perennial political ideas that bop about from time to time amongst the denizens of Springpatch – separate the rural parts of Illinois from Chicago.

Would this be state of Chicago symbol?

Or as these people tend to prefer thinking about it – kick Chicago out of Illinois and onto its keister. Let the “Second City” become the 51^st state of our nation.

THE IDEA ISN’T new. It seems there’s always a bill pondering the concept of separation of the Land of Lincoln. The Washington Post reported this week about the latest effort – which actually has eight state representatives willing to put their names on the measure as co-sponsors.

Not that anybody seriously thinks Illinois is on the verge of separation. Even one of those sponsors – state Rep. Tony McCombie, R-Savanna – admits this is more about the symbolism of separation.

“This is a political bill. As the political arm of the Illinois House Republicans, it is my responsibility to remind Chicago that there is more to Illinois than Chicago,” she told the Capitol Fax newsletter.

As though the roughly 2.6 million people who live in the city proper will quake in their pants at the thought of a city just over 3,000 people sitting in cultural isolation along the Mississippi River across from Iowa doesn’t want to be associated with Chicago.

TO BE HONEST, I suspect most Chicagoans have never heard of Savanna, and probably will mistake it for Savannah, the city in Georgia.

Which is why I honestly believe that if there really was a move underfoot to split up the 12.73 million residents of Illinois into separate states, it would be more in the form of rural Illinois trying to split off into its own region. Or more likely, Chicago deciding that it no longer wants to be associated with the Land of Lincoln.

In reality, nobody’s about to split. Nobody’s going nowhere. This is one of those maneuvers that would provide no real benefit – other than allowing political people to spew all sorts of trash talk!

McCOMBIE: Should we respond to her message?

For one thing, it would turn out to be ridiculously hard to determine exactly where the border ought to be.

DO WE LITERALLY turn 119^th Street to the south (with portions of the border jutting as far out as 138^th Street) into the new Chicago/Illinois state line – something similar along the lines of 106^th Street and State Line Road now being the dividing line between Illinois and Indiana in Chicago.

Would it become the State of Cook, with Chicago as its state capitol? We’d have to wind up picking ourselves a governor. Just envision Rahm Emanuel making a political comeback as governor of the state newly-created by ideologue politicos trying to do so as some sort of political punishment.

“Cook Gov. Rahm Emanuel,” presiding over the Chicago mayor and the other 128 municipalities that comprise the county that makes up almost half of the Illinois population as things currently stand. It almost seems appropo.

Or would the reality of things remain in place, and all the people so eager to kick out Chicago wind up getting a shock of a lifetime in learning that the five surrounding counties (DuPage, Kane, Lake, McHenry and Will) would realize they have more in common with a state of Chicago than they ever would with a state of rural Illinois.

WHICH WOULD MAKE the newly created state one that comprises about two-thirds of the existing Illinois. At roughly 8 million, the new state of Chicago/Cook/collar counties would be bigger than Indiana (roughly 6.67 million people who see no shame in calling themselves Hoosiers).

Which 'state' able to claim favorite son Lincoln

While the remaining state of Rural Illinois would wind up at about 4 million – falling somewhere between Oregon and Oklahoma in population, and lagging behind Kentucky’s 4.47 million people.

Just envision all those people currently of Southern Illinois becoming the place filled with all the bumpkins that denizens of the “Bluegrass State” shudder in fear that they have living to close to their homes.

Rural Illinoisans might not be ready for that level of isolation. Particularly if they come to realize that for many Chicagoans, their contact with “downstate” is if they have a four-year stint attending a college there – where far too many are eager to rush back to “Sweet Home, Chicago” upon graduation.

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Maybe we can fight over pies?

I can envision already the fight that’s going to occur next spring. There’s bound to be someone who gets all worked up over the state’s financial problems being ignored because our state legislators are quarrelling over the merits of pumpkin pie.

 

The dessert that’s supposed to be a part of every Thanksgiving Day meal (to the point where I wonder if anyone really eats it any other time of the year?) is going to be the focus of a bill now pending in the Illinois House of Representatives.

 

STATE REP. KEITH Sommer, R-Morton, says the bulk of canned pumpkin used to make many pies in this nation is produced in central Illinois. Hence, he wants the designation of the pumpkin pie as the Official State Pie of Illinois.

 

He told the Associated Press that it will promote the business interest of the Nestle plant in his legislative district, and is universal enough that the whole state ought to take pride in this fact!

 

Personally, I always thought some people took such designations too seriously. I don’t see that it makes much difference on any level that popcorn is the Official State Snack of Illinois.

 

Although discussing the merits of popcorn or pumpkins is bound to be easier than trying to figure out the intricacies of how the state needs to fund the pension programs in a way that won’t drive Illinois both bankrupt and financially destitute.

 

FOR WHAT IT’S worth, only one other state has an Official State Pie – Florida, which takes claim to giving us key lime pie.

 

But Maine has as its Official State Dessert blueberry pie, provided it is made with wild Maine blueberries – which happen to be the Official State Fruit. While Massachusetts has the Boston Cream pie as its Official State Dessert, while Vermont has apple pie and both Texas and Oklahoma claim pecan pie.

 

Is that the focus of the next interstate brawl?

 

For the record, Utah’s Official State Snack is Jell-O, but that’s a topic for another day’s commentary.

 

ALL THE TIME and effort that went into making such designations – couldn’t it have been used more productively? Then again, political people will always go for the trivial if it gives them potential to pontificate on a subject without putting anyone at risk.

 

I remember a couple of decades ago an actual political brawl at the Illinois Statehouse when a Springfield-based legislator tried to give recognition to chili (which is the Official State Dish of Texas). Only she used a local quirk in spelling it “chilli” (remember Dan Quayle’s “potatoe”?), which provoked a debate intense enough that you’d have thought life on Planet Earth as we know it was about to end.

 

But back to the pumpkin pie, which I have noticed seems to have an overrated rep when it comes to its edibility.

 

Personally, I don’t mind it. I’ll have an occasional piece (if I ate other fattening foods as infrequently as I do the pumpkin pie, I probably wouldn’t have the gut I have developed throughout the years).

 

ALTHOUGH I HAVE seen Thanksgiving celebrations where people acknowledge the presence of the pumpkin pie, then refuse to eat any of it. Too much of it gets thrown away uneaten.

 

Is that really what we want to honor?

 

I also stumbled across a story published last month by the Slate.com website that picked a dessert for each state, and said that Illinois’ state dessert, so to speak, is brownies – which originally were created for the World’s Fair in Chicago in 1893.

 

Although I can think of another potential brawl over an Official State Pie for Illinois. Let’s not forget that pizza is technically a “pie.” It might not be dessert, but we’d probably be better off if we laid back on the sweet stuff.

 

THERE CAN BE no more filling of a meal than a slice of stuffed pizza, particularly if you have a decent salad to go along with it.

 

Perhaps that’s the direction our officials ought to focus on in terms of making designations about what we eat.

 

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