“Chicago” West?

Should we, the people of the world’s greatest city (in my opinion, and I don’t care if you disagree) feel complimented, or offended, that entertainer Kanye West and his celebrity wife, Kim Kardashian, chose to name their newest daughter after our municipality?

Announcement Kardashian posted of daughter's name

Or should we just count down the years and days until the newly-named Chicago West becomes old enough to go to court and have her moniker changed to something less likely to draw attention?

THE NEWS REPORTS spilled out Friday about the fact that Kanye West, who grew up in Chicago and is often regarded as one of our city’s celebrities, picked his home for his daughter’s name.

Although I wonder how the girl will feel about her name when she learns that our city was named for the wild leek (a type of onion) that grew along the shores of what is now the Chicago River.

Supposedly, the whole area stank from the onions, with the smell reminding those of that of skunks. At least according to those of the Miami tribe that were once native to the shores of Lake Michigan.

When you think of the name in this context, it makes me wonder if we should consider the naming of this child some form of abuse? Are they pre-punishing her for any mischievous behavior she may commit later in life?

THEN AGAIN, CHICAGO West wouldn’t be the only pseudo-celeb to carry a burg’s name as their own.

Let’s not forget the international soccer star David Beckham and his Spice Girl bride Victoria (a.k.a., Posh Spice) who named their son Brooklyn. Supposedly, they were in the New York borough when he was conceived.

Should we take this to mean that Kanye brought his bride to visit his home town when they made their third child, and second daughter? Or is it just a quirk of Kanye that he’d think Chicago could be a proper name?

Perhaps it’s a way of showing spite toward the mentality that now shouts its way into the public discourse in this Age of Trump every time the president feels compelled to say something stupid about our beloved home city.

KANYE WEST IS showing that “Chicago” can be something beautiful, no matter how trashy Trump tries to depict it as being.

Or maybe it’s just a recognition that Atlanta, the city in which Kanye West was actually born, doesn’t have as nice a ring.

Really, “Atlanta West” just wouldn’t work. It would be too likely to rile up the natives into a revolt. Although there are times I suspect that southerners are looking for any excuse to revolt about anything possible.

Anyway, it appears that Chicago West was born Monday, and came in at 7 pounds, 6 ounces. Does this mean we can now start thinking of “Chicago” as having a new birthday? And speculate about how the girl will be 19 when her namesake city turns 200 (come the year 2037)?

The original namesake of 'Chicago'

OF COURSE, WE could all realize this is far too much speculation about the creation of a new girl who probably deserves a degree of privacy – but certainly won’t ever get it on account of who her parents are.

I can’t envision anyone with a Kardashian connection wanting to be low-profile about anything in life.

As for anybody who feels compelled to want to mock this family for their moniker choice, I can only speculate – as I have for just over 600 words.

That what really has their undershorts all bunched up is the fact that THEIR city name wasn’t picked. Because something like “St. Louis West” or “Indianapolis West” would just be too ridiculous to contemplate.

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Who really needs to be first?

My parents these days are caring for a pair of dogs, Rocco and Carmelo, who have distinct personalities. But there is one significant difference I have noticed.

The Chicago-area's first-born baby is a girl who owes her name to this ballpark. It's a good thing the building at Clark and Addison doesn't still bear its original name -- or else she'd be going through life with the name "Weeghman"

Carmelo, the younger of the two (he was born back in May, but has grown quite quickly) wants to be assured he is first in everything. Just the other day when I tried opening a back door to let Rocco go outside for a bit, Carmelo ran up, shoved Rocco aside and insisted on being the first to enjoy some fresh air.

WHICH TO ME is what all of the incidents of having to be “first” make me think of. We’re behaving like animals.

So naturally, this is NOT the ideal time of year for me to be seeing various “firsts” that are now occurring. Because we’re now in a new year, we’re going to see a lot of happenings that otherwise would go unnoticed get significant public attention just because they’re first.

As it is, we already have the “first baby” of 2017 in Chicago – whom it seems was born early Sunday to a couple in the northwestern suburbs who are Chicago Cubs fans. They named their daughter “Wrigley.”

Which as far as I’m concerned means it would serve that couple right if the daughter winds up taking no interest in baseball, or worse yet, winds up developing enough sense to be a White Sox fan!

BUT BECAUSE THIS particular year began on a Sunday and government officials need to get their New Year’s holiday day off from work, they will have to have Monday free.

No mail delivery (including a pay check I’m expecting from freelance work I do) until Tuesday. In fact, all government entities will be closed on Monday.

Which is why the Cook County government will have to hold off yet another day. We won’t get their “firsts” until at least Jan. 3.

I remember back when I was a reporter-type person for the now-defunct City News Bureau of Chicago when we’d make a big deal out of the first party permit issued by the Forest Preserve District.

LARGELY BECAUSE IT was always issued to the same man. “Moose” Murphy always wanted to have Permit Number One issued to his group, the Antler Dancers, who would have a big, alcohol-laced, bash in the forest preserves every year for several years.

Murphy would make the point of camping out at the Cook County Building at the end of each December to ensure he’d be first in line to get that permit number one. Heaven forbid anyone had the nerve to try to cut in line or usurp that top spot.

Or if anyone just showed up in mid-summer at the forest preserve where Murphy and his buddies were gathered for their annual bash.

Of course, the fact that we news media types are so desperate for fresh news copy right after the New Year’s holiday that we highlight the story no matter how trite means the county is eager to get all the positive publicity available.

AS IT IS, the Cook County clerk’s office already informed us about how on Tuesday Clerk David Orr will be ready to celebrate whichever couple happens to be first in line to apply for a marriage license.

Orr will actually perform the marriage ceremony on the spot (he, along with a ship’s captain, gets that perk) and several companies have already pledged gifts including a hotel suite and meal at a luxury restaurant for the couple who happen to be “first” in line Tuesday morning.

No wrath is more furious than that of Carmelo (left) if Rocco tries to do something ahead of him. Photograph by Gregory Tejeda

I feel sorry for them if it turns out it was a couple that merely wanted to elope in secret, but will find their life’s partnership now blasted on every television station and newspaper in Chicago – all because we need to fill space or airtime.

It also makes me wonder if the process is reduced to the level of Carmelo feeling compelled to race outside and be the “first” to do his “business” in the backyard.

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How names (and times) change

One of the tales we Chicago political geek-types like to tell is of the 1986 Democratic primary elections when gubernatorial nominee Adlai Stevenson III wound up having his chances of victory sabotaged by being tagged with a lieutenant governor running mate who was an ideological ally of Lyndon LaRouche.

PUCINSKI: From no-name to big name?

That was the cycle that two of the candidates for statewide office wound up being LaRouche disciples – including the party’s candidate for Secretary of State in Janice Hart.

SHE IS SIGNIFICANT because, the story goes, she had a WASP-y sounding name that appealed to voters who didn’t really know anything about any of the candidates.

So they picked her over the woman whom the Democratic Party establishment wanted to get the Secretary of State nomination, a woman whose name just sounded “way too foreign” for Illinoisan sensibilities.

That woman was Aurelia Pucinski, whose career has recovered significantly since that debacle 26 years ago. She served a lengthy stint as clerk of the Cook County court, is currently an appellate court justice and is running in the Tuesday primary elections for a seat on the Illinois Supreme Court.

That post is now held by Mary Jane Theis, who is seeking re-election.

YET THERE ARE political observers who believe that Theis could lose this primary election to Pucinski, who supposedly now is the BIG name on the ballot. She’s the one whom voters in Cook County (who are the only ones involved in this particular election) will recognize.

She’s the familiar name whom people will give a knee-jerk reaction vote to, rather than this Theis woman (whom some are trying to denigrate on the grounds that she lives on the same block as Mayor Rahm Emanuel).

In short, she’s come a long way from the days when she was the “foreign-sounding” woman whom nobody knew nothing about.

Now part of it is that Aurelia now has a reputation of her own. She’s NOT just the daughter of “the Puch” (as in former Congressman-turned-alderman Roman Pucinski). She gets a tad more respect now from some people.

BUT I CAN’T help but think this is some evidence that we, as a people have changed. We’re turning, ever-so-gradually, into a people whose definition of society extends beyond that Scottish-Irish mixture that so many thought was “the norm” of our society.

Maybe we’re moving beyond the days when we presume that anyone with an Irish sounding name (the “Mc’s” or the “O’s”) is the knee-jerk preference of voters, and that anyone deviating too far from such a surname has to accept the fact that they may have too many strikes against them to ever serve in public life.

So in that sense, it is a pleasant perk that someone like Pucinski can be taken so seriously and not have something as stupid as an ethnic bias held against her.

Heck, Pucinski even managed to defeat the aforementioned Janice Hart (when Ms. Hart tried to extend her “15 minutes” of political fame by running against Aurelia for the court clerk post that Pucinski ultimately held for three terms). By then, people knew who they were voting for.

CLUELESSNESS COULD NOT play a factor – except for the most clueless of people who are determined to live their lives in society’s shadows. So I’ll be watching come Tuesday night to see who gets the Democratic Party nomination for that state Supreme Court seat (which is for a 10-year term).

Will Theis enjoy the benefits of incumbency and prevail, or will another candidate Joy Cunningham appeal to the significant African-American population of the city and become the first black woman elected to the state’s high court?

Or will the “Pucinski” name recognition prevail to the point of a primary election victory – overcoming the fact that she is a Democrat-turned-Republican-turned-back-to-Democrat again.

Because as far as I’m concerned, that ought to be the reason to vote against the Puch-ette – even if she is a former Cherry Blossom Princess.

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