Wednesday, May 21, 2014

“Star Wars” and da Bearz?

Perhaps it’s all too appropriate that city officials are contemplating offering up a site for a proposed museum paying tribute to the films and special effects of George Lucas on land that now serves as parking lots for Soldier Field.

Soldier Field's true character -- prior to becoming a 'Death Star' clone
There are those who believe the remodeled stadium used primarily by the Chicago Bears looks like some sort of giant spaceship landed within the old structure.

HAVING A MUSEUM nearby honoring the man who gave us “Star Wars” and all those sequels just a few hundred yards away is just too perfect a joke. It couldn’t have been planned better.

It makes me wonder if Luke Skywalker and his X-wing fighter can somehow find the vulnerable spot, fire his shot, and reduce the renovation (which has the character of the Death Star) to rubble – thereby allowing the Chicago Bears to build a new stadium that would actually respect the character and integrity of the stadium that was built as a war memorial (along with Navy Pier) to those who served in our national military.

Of course, there’s also the fact that the parking lots on Bears’ game days now serve as a pit of humanity digging out their barbecue grills to serve up all sorts of concoctions – prior to entering the stadium to see the Bears pretend they’re still the mighty Monsters of the Midway of old.

And not all of those people are the most pristine in appearance.

WANDERING THROUGH THE parking lot on a game day, you will see so many varied characters (some of whom are downright scary, particularly if its prior to a game against the Green Bay Packers) that you’ll feel like you’re in that cantina from the original Star Wars film.

Who's more all-powerful; ...
Only instead of hearing some funky, intergalactic-style jazz band, you’ll hear several semi-drunken serenades of people trying to work their way through, “Bear Down, Chicago Bears.”

All of this is something to be considered as George Lucas figures out where he wants his museum to be built. He’s a San Francisco type and had dreams of a museum built on the waterfront with the Golden Gate Bridge in the background.

But that city has snubbed his efforts thus far.

CHICAGO GETS TO be in the running because his wife, Mellody Hobson, is a native. And there’s always the chance of a museum on the waterfront. There’s also the likelihood that parking spaces lost by the museum structure’s presence could be replaced with an underground structure.

Da coach, or the Master of 'the force'
It would be a zero-sum game, as those underground spots could be used by Bears fans. Although I can already envision the anger they will feel when they learn tailgating is prohibited.

It will be such a strong sentiment that they can’t cook a weenie or a polish sausage or two that it will feel like an all-powerful force that can overcome anything the fans put their minds to.

It’s also not like there aren’t other comparisons that could be made between Bears’ culture and the whole world of Star Wars.

DARTH VADER REPRESENTED by the Green Bay Packers? Carrie Fisher’s “Princess Leia” character could have taken on the Honey Bears of old all by herself. Harrison Ford’s “Han Solo” more powerful a force than Walter Payton?

And the ultimate – Yoda equals Ditka!

You could also compare the Bears football team to the Ewoks – those cutesy, cuddly creatures from the third film (the one that the Star Wars geeks call number 6) who inspired the sale of many toy dolls and action figures.

Although there are times when I suspect that a pack of Ewoks could take to the gridiron and whomp all over da Bears. They did manage to help beat Imperial storm troopers, after all!


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