Slow-pitch Softball - What's the Point?

I’m about to commit a serious Chicago infraction, one that might actually get my city identity citizenship revoked. Heaven forbid, I might have to start identifying myself as a native of some god-awful generic, touristy city like Las Vegas, Nev., or Orlando, Fla.

I don’t like the game of 16-inch softball. I have never understood the point in playing the slow-pitch game. I’d sooner slather ketchup all over my Vienna Beef hot dog.

Now as a Chicagoan by birth, I know there are people who think the slow-pitch version of softball is something special, just one of many aspects along with deep dish pizza and blues music that gives the Second City its unique character.

But I can remember being a kid playing the slow-pitch version in gym class, thinking to myself that I was wasting my time playing a cheap, inferior knockoff of baseball – which is a game I love to watch but have become too old and slow to play any longer without making a fool of myself.

So I must admit to being in shock to learn that the Chicago 16-inch Softball Hall of Fame not only exists, but is holding its latest round of induction ceremonies this coming week.

Twenty-three individuals who played, managed or umpired the game in the amateur leagues that have flourished in Chicago for decades are being honored, along with three intact teams who are being honored for their lifetime accomplishments.

Personally, my interest in the old school journalists who chronicled the activities of Chicago caused me to notice that one of the inductee teams is the ball club that consisted of reporters, editors and pressmen who worked for the now-defunct Chicago Daily News back in the 1960s and 1970s.

I also couldn’t help but notice that the Hall of Fame’s lifetime achievement award is named for the legendary Chicago mayor, Richard J. Daley, who in his youth played for softball teams in his home neighborhood of Bridgeport and on occasion as mayor would pitch to a hitter or two in games, albeit usually fully dressed in his political attire of dress jacket, tie and dress shoes.

If the outfit didn’t intimidate the hitter, the knowledge that the mayor could cost him a city job if he made the mayor look too ridiculous probably did.

I understand how ingrained the slow-pitch version of the game is in Chicago. Personally, I have never in my life played fast-pitch softball. It was never an option in the Chicago neighborhoods and suburbs where I grew up.

In fact, as a kid I always presumed the slow-pitch game WAS softball, which differs from the fast-pitch game in that a larger, mushier ball is used in the Chicago game compared to the 12-inch ball used by men who play competitive fast-pitch softball (an 11-inch ball is used by women who play).

By comparison, a baseball is 9 inches in circumference.

What I have always enjoyed the most about baseball is that each at-bat is a battle between a pitcher and a hitter. A good pitcher doesn’t need to throw balls 95 miles an hour past a hitter to get people out. Anybody who remembers former Chicago White Sox pitcher Shingo Takatsu getting American League hitters out a few years ago with breaking pitches that moved at about 60 miles an hour knows what I am talking about.

Slow-pitch softball takes away that entire element. The pitcher is lobbing the ball up to a hitter so that he can smack it. Outs in softball are recorded by the defense fielding ground balls and throwing out base runners. A good infield, particularly at shortstop, is all-important.

Smacking the ball around might be okay for a few guys wanting to whittle away a few hours in a public park. But for someone who wants to play a competitive athletic event, it can get a bit dull – especially when one takes into account the portly nature of some aging softball players.

Now having made such a disparaging remark about slow-pitch softball players, I have to concede that one of the greatest major league baseball players to come out of Chicago got his ball playing start by playing the 16-inch game in the Second City’s amateur leagues.

Bill “Moose" Skowron, the star slugging first baseman for the New York Yankees back in the early 1960s who later returned home to play for the White Sox, didn’t actually play competitive baseball until he got to Purdue University, where he was recruited to play Big Ten football.

The prep football star at Weber High School has said he learned to hit a pitched ball by smacking base hits while playing for a slow-pitch softball team sponsored by Koolvent Awnings, sometimes in games at Thillens Stadium on Chicago’s far northwest side.

He must have learned something right, because it was Skowron’s power-hitting threat that forced American League pitchers to have to confront both Mickey Mantle and Roger Maris during that season of 1961 when both challenged the single-season home run record then held by Babe Ruth.

But on the whole, the un-athletic nature of slow-pitch softball is why I can’t help but laugh whenever the Chicago game’s proponents argue they are playing a superior sport because they do not use fielder’s gloves.

With a big bloated ball that can turn to mush during the course of a game, one does not need a fielder’s glove to catch it. Also for me, baseball was more interesting to play because one can get a firm grip on the smaller ball and throw it with more accuracy. I think that results in a better-played, more interesting game.

For those who really want to have a bat and ball alternative to baseball, one ought to seriously look at fast-pitch softball.

I am always amazed at how hard pitchers like Jennie Finch of the Chicago Bandits can throw underhand. Also, Jennie, who has an Olympic gold medal among her possessions, is more of an athlete than any of the pudgy people who take the field to toss around a Clincher, particularly if their primary motivation for playing is the keg of beer available after the game.

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EDITOR’S NOTES: The Chicago 16-inch Softball Hall of Fame will induct these people (http://www.ad-hoc-news.de/CorporateNews/en/15053596/Chicago+16”+Softball+Hall+of+Fame+Induction+Dinner+to+be) during ceremonies to be held Saturday, Jan. 26 in Cicero.

For those who need a quickie lesson as to what 16-inch softball is, check here. http://www.encyclopedia.chicagohistory.org/pages/1163.html. If you can handle some more details, read here. http://www.16inchsoftballhof.com/.

Some advice as to the proper way to do a Vienna Beef hot dog can be found here. http://www.viennabeef.com/culture/chicagostyle.asp